"Had to take this call. Can't leave. Will meet you there. Sorry." Practice starts at 6 p.m. and Frank so very badly wants to cheer for his little girl on the sidelines. He knows it's not always possible or fair for me to drop my work to make sure she gets there on time -- but, like half of working dads, he's struggling to balance the competing demands of work and family life.
As a culture, we have a weird obsession with women being "selfish." Mothers especially are prone to accusations of selfishness any time they make a choice that doesn't directly and obviously benefit their children. Even when mothers are encouraged to practice self-care, it's often approached with the idea that feeling happy and rested will make them better partners and parents.
The point is that working moms need a village to be successful. They need short-cuts and tips that make life easier. With precious little time at home, it's things like swifters and crockpots make a difference. If you don't have a support system that can help you find the things that can help you feel like a better mom, build one. It's worth it.
"Balance" suggests that women's role is to straddle both carefully ensuring that each side stays perfectly equal to one another. Am I the only one that pictures a teter totor (never, thought I'd have to put that word in print, let along look up the spelling), with a laptop and note book on one end and screaming children on the other?
It was my choice to go back to work six weeks after having my second child and I won't lie, this week was tough. That being said, I awoke each morning delighted to start the day, hit the ground running and engage in my life's work. I figure if nothing else, being excited to head to work is an important metric in my quest to design a tailored life.
One day I realized no one in my family was benefiting from my hectic race for perfection. And would I even be healthy enough to enjoy my kids' future considering I was anemic, sleep-deprived, out of shape, and kept alive by fast food and diet soda? Here are things that helped me slow down and enjoy motherhood.
In a nutshell: life is chaos, it's all my fault, but I just can't help it so bite me. I'm a busy woman who is chewing what she has bitten off as fast as she can. I'm a hot mess, always in a rush to get where I'm going, dragging my poor son behind me. But damn it, I'm doing it. I'm getting there. There is room for improvement for sure. But at this dawn of a new calendar year, I'm not going to make a grand pledge to change.
I spent the afternoon in New York last week with long distance friend, mom, and actress Denise Richards. We chatted over tea and scones, and then I decided to ask her some questions and find out what it's like to be a single, working mom in the spotlight. Denise was candid, honest and sincere about her life. I give you, our interview...
Your step from mompreneur to entrepreneur is not an insignificant jump, it's no longer just your schedule to consider but that of your team, your clients, your need to cover the costs on a monthly basis and hopefully walk away with a salary. But there are two core differences between a mompreneur and entrepreneur.
Balance? Sure. Whatever. Here's the truth: there is no balance. The truth is my needs change year after year and so do the needs of my family. Nothing is perfect. Nope. When I was a full-time stay-at-home mom with young kids, I went nuts. When I worked full time, I was so filled with guilt it nearly killed me.
I often compare starting a business with motherhood. It is almost as if there is a code of secrecy. No one wants to tell you what it is really like. No one wants to spell out the down times. The sleep deprivation. The sense of rejection when no one calls you. And no one wants to admit that it was less than perfect for her.