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"Pull Her By the Ear, Beat Her By Hand or Stick"

Posted: 03/27/2012 7:35 am


It's hard to take a book seriously that's causing some anguish (and even more embarrassment) among those who could be called "moderate" Muslims.

The 160-page book, A Gift for Muslim Couple, is rumoured to be sold out in an Islamic book store in Canada and seems more Monty Python than something that borrows from the Quran or sayings of Muhammad. In fact, it is based on dictums of Sharia law, which is no laughing matter.

Without the reality of Sharia law being what it is, there'd be no reason for this book with the illiterate title, authored by Maulavi Ashraf Ali Thanvi, whoever that is.

While some non-Muslims may be amused at the marital advice that on occasion, "It might be necessary to restrain her [your wife] with strength or even to threaten her," you [the hubby] should "refrain from beating her excessively." Good to know.

On the contrary, "The husband should treat the wife with kindness and love, even if she tends to be stupid and slow." Who can disagree with that?

Say what you will, the above coincides with the terms of Sharia law which has different interpretations depending on culture. As far a punishing one's wife, I've read somewhere that a "beating" can be inflicted with a feather instead of a stick, and is more a symbolic punishment or rebuke than a physical one.

That might be considered humane by some Muslim wives, but I doubt if many of the wives I've met would appreciate the distinction.

Formal Sharia law wouldn't argue too much with the book's statement that a wife (or wives -- up to four by some traditions) can be beaten "by hand or stick," that money can be withheld from her, and that a husband can "pull [her] by the ears." Better than stoning or amputating limbs.

A lot of moderate Muslims -- and they are the great percentage in Canada -- are upset and think the book should be banned in Canada, with those selling it charged. While understandable, that's a bit extreme since the Quran is readily available in Canada.

While Sharia law differs with cultures, in its strictest, most fundamental interpretation, it is the infallible word of God as depicted in the Quran, or by the example of the Prophet Mohammed himself. It is not man made, or adjustable.

Some Islamic cultures have verged towards the secular (Turkey, Mali, Kazakhstan), while others lean towards fundamentalism (Saudi Arabia, Gulf States), while others are a blending of democratic laws and Sharia (Pakistan, Indonesia, Egypt, Morocco, Malaysia).

Regardless of views and differences, it seems indisputable that whatever rights women have under the Islamic faith, men have more. Or, as George Orwell might say: In Islam, men are more equal than women. I suppose that could also be said of the Catholic Church, where women cannot (yet) be priests.

In some ways this rather primitive book may be useful in exposing inequalities and offensive aspects of Islamic culture. When something like 1,000 Pakistani women and girls are murdered every year in Pakistani "honour" killings, something is seriously wrong.

We in Canada were exposed to a woman and three girls of the Shafia family murdered in the name of "honour," which no decent Muslim condones, much less encourages.

The face-covering controversy has reached Canada, which is linked to the equality issue. Quebec has banned face-coverings for those applying for government jobs, or licenses, or court appearances. Other parts of Canada are leaning in that direction.

People like Tarek Fatah and Farzana Hassan of the Muslim Canadian Congress courageously seek to attract Muslims who don't subscribe to existing organizations and who want to blend with Canadian life without jeopardizing their religious beliefs.

In a way, this unwittingly silly book underscores the efforts of those who seek reform and prefer equality of women instead of subjugation.

 
 
 
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12:17 PM on 03/29/2012
Where's my links?
11:31 AM on 03/29/2012
Keep screening my comments - I love the FACT that I have such a power over you libfarts!
10:11 AM on 03/29/2012
Old news. Anyone who's studied Islam - Quran, Hadith, Sharia and Middle Eastern culture knows this.

What's in question here, is why on earth would someone buy such a book - SOLD OUT?
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Allison Knight-Khan
Love 4 All, Hatred 4 None
11:36 PM on 03/27/2012
Here is some 1940s commentary via film noir:
"Housewifery became professionalized with a plethora of books and articles extolling the virtues of domesticity and urging women to leave their "Rosie-the-Riveter" jobs for the less tangible rewards of child-rearing and housekeeping. In addition, these articles cautioned both men and women to assume their proper roles lest their aberrant behavior result in untold psychological trauma."
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Allison Knight-Khan
Love 4 All, Hatred 4 None
11:27 PM on 03/27/2012
Re: "it seems indisputable that whatever rights women have under the Islamic faith, men have more"

Not true. Equality of the sexes is established in this passage of the Holy Quran:

Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who do so - for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.

Women and men are competing spiritually to be the best they can be.

Islam gives women the right to inherit. There is no such right given by any religion before Islam.
08:28 PM on 03/27/2012
I am just an ordinary Muslim. I have read the Quran many times and in the Quran there are rights for animals. There are rights for slaves. There are rights for your enemies and prisoners of war. There are rights for neighbours and even for strangers. A Muslim is not a Muslim if his/her neighbour is sleeping hungry. It is unimaginable that a wife does not have rights in Islam? Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him never beat his wife and nor did Ali, Abu Bakkar, Umar and Usman (the four caliphs). A Gift for Muslim Couple is written by a so called "scholar" from Deoband. The Dar ul Uloom in Deoband has a long history of writing ridiculous religious opinions in the name of Islam. Their religious decrees have seldom roots in Islamic teachings. The Dar ul Uloom Deoband would have been long out of business if common sense is prevalent. All Deobandi idelogies can not be represented as Islamic principles. There are hundreds of Deobandi Fatwas that contradict with core Islamic principles. These Fatwas have roots in Sharia books but these books were written to please the Caliphs of Damascus and Baghdad centuries ago and not to please God.
I have no sympathy for Mr. Shamim, the owner of the Islamic book store in Toronto. It is hard to believe that he did not know what kind of books he was selling when he was selling the books of Deobandis.
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Ian Llangan
Your Invisible Sky Friend Is Morally Abhorrent
03:19 PM on 03/27/2012
The Roman Catholic Church's refusal to permit women to become priests may be a grievous offense against Roman Catholic women, but that organisation is guilty of perpetrating far more grievous offenses against other Catholics, not to mention their tiresome meddling in public life and politics. They are running a close second to Islam when it comes to degrees of moral bankruptcy and track records for violence and evil conduct.
01:41 PM on 03/27/2012
So when is there going to be a denunciation of contemporary "Christian Parenting" books that advocate beating children? These weren't even published 70 years ago, they're still coming out.

Is that also the sign of a primitive religion, whose members should try harder to assimilate into the values of the modern world?
11:59 AM on 03/27/2012
This book has been published since 1950's, its author died on July 4, 1943. It seems news publishers today have been having a low traffic day to talk about Islam, Muslims, Women, Beating, Backwardness to shore up their advertising revenue.

Secondly, if someone has written in the light of the what is included in some interpretations of faith, why would you like to gag them as long as they don't put that in practice. Thirdly, article that talked about post birth abortion by Oxford scholars was published in very respected journals, does it mean that that article encouraged post birth abortion? Have the writers read 98.9% of the book by Mr. Thanvi, which also says that Paradise lies under the feet of the mother and whoever brings up three girls and cares for them - they will protect him from hell fire on the day of judgement?

In the enlightened UK:

At least 80,000 women suffer rape every year. 2001/02 British Crime Survey estimated 635,000 incidents of domestic violence in England and Wales. 81% of the victims were women and 19% were men. Domestic violence incidents also made up nearly 22% of all violent incidents reported by participants in the BCS. (2002).

Given these percentages are very high, it is highly unlikely that all violence takes place in Muslim households. Also, this book is meant for reading by Muslims not everyone, who know the extent of its theory and practice rather than western people who won't know the nuances.
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02:43 PM on 03/27/2012
"Given these percentages are very high, it is highly unlikely that all violence takes place in Muslim households."

What a bizarre point. No one has ever claimed all violence takes place in Muslim households. Is this supposed to justify wife beating by Muslims?
05:38 PM on 03/27/2012
Well, it proves that even after the circulation of the "obnoxious" book in Muslim community and the supposed "enlightenment" of the western education and culture, the wife/partner beating is not a substantial issue in properly "believing" Muslim families. I agree entirely with Archbishop of Canterbury's assertion that modern culture specially in the west doesn't understand how religion works.
11:05 AM on 03/27/2012
Mistreatment of Muslim woman is a cultural rather than Islamic issue. Some traditions have tainted Islam's teachings and widely mistaken by Islam itself, even amonng some Muslims who don't know their religion well. "The best among you (men) are those that treat their wives the best", Fatima, daughter of Mohammad, peace be upon them.
Gracious Qoran 39:17-18 ...Give, then, this glad tiding to [those of] My ser­vants (17) who listen [closely] to all that is said, and follow the best of it: [for] it is they whom God has graced with His guidance, and it is they who are [truly] endowed with insight!
16:90 BEHOLD, God enjoins justice, and the doing of good, and generosity towards [one's] fellow-men; and He forbids all that is shameful and all that runs counter to reason, as well as envy; [and] He exhorts you [repeatedly] so that you might bear [all this] in mind.
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11:32 AM on 03/27/2012
All religions say this, and then the next page its all "may he who bashes your babies against rocks be blessed" (old testament).
I have no delusions about my faith, Judaism, and most Jews dont either.
Christians, Muslims, and orthodox Jews need to get on with the times.
Jesus wasn't the son of God and didnt preform magic at weddings, Muhammed said some great things and some horrible things (and he did both), Moses saved the Israelites but also murdered at least 15% of them in blind genocidal rage.
Our faith and culture must evolve, our eyes must be opened to reality. That which was good and normal back then cannot be taken fundamentally.
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Kristopher Leang
training to take down the elite
12:06 PM on 03/27/2012
so jesus didn't do miracles but moses somehow called on the wrath of god to punish the Egyptians... okkkk

the truth is, if there is some all powerful god, he is not going to have his feelings hurt because the food you ate wasn't kosher, or you didnt cover your body at all times, or if according to christians you "covet your neighbours wife". god would want us to be happy, not oppress us. and certainly not live by the claims of one man written book, when there are literally thousands of alternatives..
10:49 AM on 03/27/2012
Such an enlightened person, this mr. worthington.
10:21 AM on 03/27/2012
The YouTube video, "What is the Meaning of Life" provides a framework useful when judging the value of religious tenets in general and publications such as "A Gift..." in particular. If one looks carefully enough, the "Golden Rule" is referred to in all religious traditions thus rendering violence genuine heresy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjIAQQUTCNQ
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YankeeCanuck
dog
10:14 AM on 03/27/2012
THe author died in 1943, was a Sunni from India. It is sheer silliness. Other faiths have also concentrated on the patriarchal aspect of marriage. "Is the Pope Catholic?" is one discussion of the blind eye turned toward spousal abuse. THere is a growing awareness of the problem, but still most Catholic pastors will recommend keeping the family together and trying to understand the reason for the abuse, helping to remedy, it. Temporary removal of the target and children is advised in extreme circumstances.
Let the book book be seen as the nonsense that it is. THe curious have bought copies, and have likely been rewarded by some pretty stupid and boring writing.
09:08 AM on 03/27/2012
There can be no Sharia law in western societies,if we wish for a western cultural civilization to survive.While some people argue about multi-culturalism,Sharia is not cultural,it is Islamic law.No country can survive a dual system of law.
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11:36 AM on 03/27/2012
What are you talking about? Who promotes Sharia Law? Not leftists, thats for sure.
There is no other law system in Canada than the Canadian Law System, neither Jews nor Christians have the right to hold their own courts subject to their law (except when both sides of the dispute agree with it and freely chooses it as a form of mediation, it is never binding).
Other than Native Americans and the French, which deserve their court systems and law because of their intimate connection to Canada, there is no question about Sharia Law.

Of course, are you against a woman and man freely going to an imam to see what the solution for their problems according to Sharia Law is, and then following through with that out of their own free will? I mean, this is not much different than Catholic confession where the priest gives you punishments according to Catholic law that, if you are a good catholic, you will follow through on. Its not a part of the legal system and has no legal weight, but someone may choose to do so.
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Ian Llangan
Your Invisible Sky Friend Is Morally Abhorrent
03:28 PM on 03/27/2012
Please show us any Muslim woman beaten and/or sexually abused by her own husband going of her own free will with her husband to their local imam for a solution that is satisfactory to both.