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Dear Toronto: You're Being Trolled By Ford Nation

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Do you ever have this nightmare?

You're on the Internet, and you're trying to explain something sensible to someone, and they're heaping abuse on you? And when you start to make headway with a point, they sideslip into something totally irrelevant? And everything that is obviously subjective is objective to them? And everything obviously objective is subjective to them?

I have this nightmare too: It's called being trolled. The primary characteristic of being trolled is when you are trying to achieve something positive, but can't make any headway because the other party's agenda is to disrupt and hijack the conversation.

Trolls are toxic. You know that, I know that. We all run into them, like the "Men's Rights" jackasses who want to turn every story of abuse into a debate about how men get raped for their sperm and sued for child support and it's a double standard.

Have you got that person in your mind? Great. Let's review who they are and what they want:

They're angry with the world.

What they're doing right here, right now is disrupting people who the troll feels are their enemies.

Debate with a troll is a waste of time, because the troll wins when you waste your time.

The bottom line is that the troll's agenda is sabotage. And the Troll's three tactics are to Disrupt, to Delay, and to Distract

And so to our city: Toronto, you are being trolled.

To Ford Nation, nothing getting done is a job well done.

Let's review the facts, shall we?

Ford Nation is angry with City Hall.

Ford Nation elected Rob Ford with the overt agenda of disrupting business-as-usual at City Hall.

Debate with Ford Nation is a waste of time, because Ford Nation wins when you are distracted from getting anything done.

This is why the crack video debate is a massive waste of time! Ford Nation does not care that the Mayor does crack. Ford Nation does not care that the Mayor consorts with violent criminals. Ford Nation does not care that the Mayor rolls into work around noon. Ford Nation does not care that the Mayor used his staff for football duties. Ford Nation does not care that the Mayor looks the TV cameras in the face and lies. Ford Nation does not care that the Mayor cannot delegate or work with people.

When they pretend to be conducting a debate, Ford Nation will say that none of this matters, because it doesn't affect Mr. Ford doing his job as the Mayor. And people get their skirts in a tizzy, thinking that these things completely undermine Rob Ford doing his job as a Mayor. But it is a waste of energy debating this with Ford Nation.

Ford Nation does not care that a man elected to lead has no leadership skills. Ford Nation does not care that a man elected to save money hasn't, in fact, saved money. This is because Ford Nation doesn't really care if he leads or saves the city money.

Ford Nation cares if he disrupts City Hall. Ford Nation cares if he delays progress in Toronto. Ford Nation cares if he distracts the city from its work to focus on his behaviour.

Ford Nation are the Ontario equivalent of the Tea Party. Peel back the veneer, and you find someone who truly, deeply feels that "Toronto The Good" doesn't work. Who feels that it works for someone else. For downtowners, or liberals, or cyclists, or unionized employees, or something else.

Ford Nation thinks Toronto is all about "someone else," not about them. To Ford Nation, Toronto looks down upon the suburbs and taxpayers, and Ford Nation is angry about that. So Ford Nation elects a man who has but one job to do: Troll Toronto. Disrupt. Delay. Distract.

The primary characteristic of being trolled is when you are trying to achieve something positive, but can't make any headway because the other party's agenda is to disrupt and hijack the conversation.

To Ford Nation, nothing getting done is a job well done. Rob Ford wasn't elected to win respect for taxpayers, Rob Ford was elected to show Ford Nation's disrespect for City Hall.

And so, all this debate about him smoking crack is irrelevant. Suggestions of rehab are a complete side-show. Rob Ford doesn't need to go to rehab to get elected. He simply needs to do the job he was hired to do:

Disrupt Toronto, Delay Toronto, and Distract Toronto. All so that the people angry with Toronto can sit back and enjoy a good trolling. And when you make the mistake of trying to reason with them, you're playing into their hands.

Don't do that, Toronto. Don't feed the trolls.

This post originally appeared on braythwayt.com

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