“If you are willing to stay in cheap accomodations, you can travel pretty inexpensively. Take the bus, don't fly, stay in hostels or cheap motels, etc. I'd suggest also visiting national parks if you've got any interest in what made America America, and that's also cheap.”
“Many of those veterans, who were not given help with 'entitlement programs', suffered for the rest of their lives with the damage that 'shell-shock', PTSD, caused. Their families suffered. And many of them wanted more help, but people like you shamed them for it.”
Shawn Swigart on May 31, 2014 at 02:00:28
“i have know a lot of WW2 vets and have never seen one of them shamed by anything. I don't think you have a clue what you are talking about”
“If she had done her proper research (as much of his rants and writing and videos were online), she would have known that his problem wasn't that he secretly wanted men. It was that he had extreme narcissistic and jealousy issues, and wanted to be validated by the love of a white, blonde woman. He was furious at men, especially black and asian men, who dated white, blonde women. He ranted at extreme length about his problem with those women refusing to date him. There was not even a hint of repressed homosexuality there. It is NOT sound diagnostic practice to ignore extensive and specific writings by a subject when one's trying to identify what's wrong.”
May 24, 2014 at 17:10:14
“People say 'minorities' because it does happen to 'minorities'. I and my husband are both disabled and in wheelchairs; he looks white and I can pass. People look 'through' you, talk down to you, and if there is an able-bodied person beside you they will talk to that person instead of you even if you speak to them yourself (neither he nor I have speech impediments, either). It's gotten to the point where my husband, an author, has to ask able-bodied friends not to sit too close to him at signing tables because otherwise he never gets spoken to directly.”
“Mine understands both. I have a chronic illness that sometimes causes my jaw to lock and my tongue to swell and blister so speaking can be painful, and so I taught my dog hand signals. He's gone deaf in old age, but he still knows his commands.”
“That's because abusers don't start out awful. They start out nice, and then the niceness decreases over time. But it's difficult to walk away from a friend like that, because while that friendship is effectively dead, there's that same person, same face, same memories, but they act different. Reconciling that can take time.”
dave ochs on May 19, 2014 at 23:37:44
“right, but the point is if someone is abusive or mean or selfish why offer yourself up to them to do it over and over, unless you like it. walk away and mean it. Dave”
“If it's easy to drop friends, then they weren't very close friends.”
dave ochs on May 19, 2014 at 20:31:27
“i think your wrong, people get into terribly dysfunctional relationships, were they suffer all types of abuse and still can't seem to end the relationship. thats what i'm getting at, if a relationship doesn't work find the strength to end it and don't look back, but people and their sick needs....
“I attempted to reconnect with my own mother, and to forgive the abuse, neglect, and other things that she did and that she allowed. Unfortunately, soon afterward, she went right back to her old habits, and so I had to cut her (and the rest of my relatives) off for good.
I'm glad that Teresa was able to find closure and a relationship with her mother, however-- just don't let things slide back into the old patterns.”
Noah Roads on May 19, 2014 at 07:05:06
“I'm struggling with similar issues with my mother and I find that our roles have changed where more and more I have to be the one to monitor and correct her behavior. I always felt like that was the parent's role and here I am telling her "your thinking is not normal" when she starts to fall back into her mental lapses.
I realize women who were abused and allow abuse, have such a hard time dealing with reality and resort to delusions instead, like it's comforting. I'm glad I didn't turn out like her..but just as you say..you gotta nip those old patterns in the bud if you want to have any sort of relationship with those who either directly hurt you, or indirectly allowed it.
Giving them any amount of control over your life or letting them take the reigns of your emotions and you find yourself back to square one all over again.”
“Oh, no, I've known guys who were just like this Molly person. I and my husband talk smack to each other all the time (we also do about ourselves), and there's a difference between that kind of joking, and genuine vicious badtalk to your face (and about others). It's all about the attitude and the respect.”
“Some friends are like family, and that's when it is a big deal and that's the point of the article.”
dave ochs on May 19, 2014 at 00:37:34
“yes it is a big deal but it shouldn't be, i mean if someone hurts you, or if you suddenly see them in a different light, they weren't who you thought, you should be able to terminate the relationship with no remorse or sentimentality, needing friends is a sickness.
“If you feel the need to forgive, you can do that, but that doesn't require you to allow them back into your life, either. You can leave them in God's hands and move on with your own life. I had to cut off my family years ago because of this, and it was one of the healthiest things I've done.”
“That's where I and my husband are at. Our circle is much smaller, but we're trying to look at this as an opportunity to build ourselves back up, and then invite other kind people in. Being surrounded by inescapable negativity and having to change our lives to accommodate it has only damaged our health and our souls.”
“There's no excuse for what Molly said and did. You don't cut your friends. The author doesn't need to subject herself to verbal abuse and denigration, and if that's how you treat your friends, you should stop.”
“It's true that the ones who are quickest to tear you down are the quickest to vanish when you need them to stand up for you, too. No matter how many times you might stand up for them, they will not reciprocate. That's a good sign of a bad friend.”
wanderer12 on May 18, 2014 at 22:28:54
“I think that is really the sign of a person who was never a friend in the first place. Those people tend to have a pretty weak center and they feel better about themselves by that kind of action. If my friends are doing something really stupid and dangerous or self destructive I will speak up. Aside from that I do not unless asked. As I noted to one person who made themselves and ex-friend. If I ask for you advice it is welcome. If you feel it necessary to simply pipe up and get out the soapbox it is really not advice. It is unsolicited criticism. I can get that from my Jewish mother.”
“You don't need that many calories after you've been stuck in bed long enough. I've been bedbound for three years from a serious back injury (will be getting a wheelchair soon, however) and I eat very little junk food (a pastry now and then, no chips, soda, stuff like that) and small portions, fresh vegetables, and have still gained a bit of weight every year. The good thing is that as soon as you can stop being completely sedentary, some of that will come off just because you've moving around.”
“It's not about that; their friend was angry and so it was just another way to show how bad the author was. And the author was hurt that their friend was so hostile about just driving them somewhere; I'm pretty sure if their friend had just said, 'I'm swamped, could you call a cab instead' and been genuinely busy that it wouldn't've been a problem.”
MarcEdward on May 18, 2014 at 18:09:31
“I've seen this kind of thing happen before. My mom went to college in the 1940s. Later in life she reconnected with her roommate and they traveled a lot together, than out of the blue, on one road trip, they had a terrible fight about nothing (my mom thought her friend drove too fast) and have never spoken again.
Some friends, you can love them to death, but you don't want to spend too much time alone with them.”