Jul 8, 2013 at 21:52:43
“Much to be contemplated, discovered, responded to and addressed. None of it political, all of it so incredibly important. Lets focus on helping the victims and understanding the problems well enough to prevent them from reoccurring. The more we increase our support structures, with luck, the more irrelevant they will become.”
Apr 18, 2013 at 22:27:23
“If you think looking at this photo is uncomfortable, try having christmas dinner with someone who has abused you.
Awareness, understanding and support are the only things that will reduce sexual abuse and its' impacts. If these ads make you uncomfortable, it is probably a good time to ask yourself why. Find an answer that is for you, not for anyone else and that answer may suprise you. The more people who can find their answers, the better it will get for everyone.
As a survivor of sexual abuse, it is hard to say what is more difficult now, but secrecy of any kind is in the top ten. When a child is abused, they are most often forced to take on the responsibility of someone elses secret as their own. That is a heavy burden.
Don't look away in discomfort, find comfort in giving a victim a voice.”
done being victim on Apr 19, 2013 at 00:24:35
“Dale, your "try having Christmas dinner...." jumped out at me because I too did that for many many years....Christmas, birthdays, thanksgiving, whatever the family expected. Half of them have no idea that my brother abused me, including repeatedly raped me for years, and my mom, the one who does know things he's an angel and I'm the problem. I'm done pretending...that abuse stopped 28 years ago and it was only a handful of years ago I finally decided I didn't need to be around any of them anymore. Now I have Christmas dinner with good friends or not at all and I am okay with that.”
n pl -ties
1. (Business / Commerce) a gift or reward, usually of money, for services rendered; tip
2. something given without claim or obligation
3. (Military) Military a financial award granted for long or meritorious service
By definition, a forced gratuity is actually a tax, isn't it? I am not against tipping, but I am against having that choice made for me. I can be a really good tipper, but I can also be an aweful one. Oddly enough, it is based on the performance of the person providing the service. Its' a bonus, not an entitlement.”
maxfax on Nov 6, 2012 at 10:41:28
“A bonus? These are some of the most underpaid employees in the workforce,”
“I like the student part. Giving someone access to free advice from someone with zero experience is not exactly leveling the playing field, now is it? I am not knocking students in any way. I am sure that the vast majority are very knowledgeable, but it takes both knowledge and experience to be competitive in anything.”
“Laws - A set of rules by the people for the people. Sadly, the justice system has taken on a life of its own. It serves itself and the only ones with the ability to change it, lack the motivation to do so. We have ample history to guide us, yet we ignore the lessons and continue down a path that leads to a place we know we don't want to be. In conflict there is revenue. Resolve the conflict and you kill the revenue. Sadly, that does not seem to be a conflict of interests that the law society is even willing to acknowledge, let alone deal with. In any other industry there would be outrage at the mere presence of that conflict of interests, yet its' prevalence in the legal system is not only accepted, but expected. If flat rate divorce was an option, I suspect divorces would be much more amicable and settlements much more balanced. Our infrastructure is fragile and requires that the majority have a desire to stay within it in order for it to function. The more components of our infrastructure that fail the majority, the more unstable it becomes. Like in so many areas, it is time to abandon the near term self interest and start thinking and planning much longer term. For now it is a choice that we could make; soon that choice may be made by someone else. A set of rules by the people, for the people. Access is”
May 28, 2013 at 16:00:11
“Hate to state the obvious, buuuut........ A quick drug test would put this to rest; no???”
JulieinOntario on May 28, 2013 at 18:08:47
“I would think so too but he likely has the right to refuse to get it done and nobody will force it upon him.”
Rober on May 28, 2013 at 16:56:21
“You sound like a birther.”
sweetblondie on May 28, 2013 at 16:23:24
“drugs don't stay in the bloodstream long enough...that's why a hair sample is always the best bet. You can track drug use going to back a year with a hair sample...funny that Rob just got a new buzzcut...”
Mar 13, 2013 at 11:48:26
“Here's a thought..... Family first. Be a family. A strong one. The best one that you can all be together. Everyone comes first, everyone comes last. Some days you're a leader, some days you are a follower. Perhaps the question is not who comes first, but what are our priorities? If it is all about one person or another, failure is timing, not a question. A strong family is a gift that lasts a lifetime and an unparalleled education. There is also no better preperation for the real world.”
thatbohemianone on Mar 13, 2013 at 19:39:21
“This is so well put. Thats what its all about. And when the kids are babies and toddlers, they will likely need more of your energy and and attention. There may be times when your husband needs you more than the kids. It doesnt need to be a strict heiarchy, its family.”
Mar 1, 2013 at 09:39:54
“This guys is a freaking inspiration. Every CEO on the planet should read that exit letter. I tried I failed, I learned, I will regroup, reflect and try again. AWESOME....... Most of us never pick up the bat, let alone swing it.
Congratulations on your successes and your failures Andrew. I wish you well.”
Feb 27, 2013 at 10:59:43
“What are you doing bringing facts to an argument? We don't want facts. Sound bites. All we can handle is sound bites. Next you will expect us to think for our selves. That is a slippery slope to accountability.... I am warning you. Go back now before its too late.
“AMEN!!!!! What a great article. Thank you for your contribution.I hope we can all take a big step back and not get hung up on the individual components of this problem and how they affect our self interest. It is a complex all encompassing problem and the solution will be the same.”
Jan 11, 2013 at 11:42:24
“Who am I to impose my choices on you?? Did you just write that? Are you familiar with the term live by the sword die by the sword? Your choices are being imposed on the general public as we speak. The general public has told you what you are worth "as a group". If you don't like it, join a group that is worth more....... ”
Phairone on Jan 11, 2013 at 14:29:10
You do not speak for the general public. The general public has made no such declaration in regards to what teachers are "as a group", worth. Please be mindful. I personally feel teachers are worth way more than what they are getting, and I can accept to agree to disagree on this point, but I certainly won't speak for you to voice my personal opinion.”
sgillhoolley on Jan 11, 2013 at 12:05:26
“No they arent. If our choices were being imposed on you, we would be getting 100% of what we want. Instead the government is getting 100% of what it wants. You have a serious disconnect between reality and your view of it. And believe that plenty of teachers will leave the profession. As it is 50% of teachers leave teaching within the first 5 years. Watch what happens when those numbers hit 80% and students are left with inexperienced teachers who lacked the ability to make it into other professions. Now you have Canadian students ranking in the top 5 in the world. That will not last long if you choose to villify teachers.”
Jan 11, 2013 at 10:40:38
“If you want to negotiate your compensation, opt out of the union and negotiate excellent compensation for excellent effort and achievement. It is how 70% of us do it, and the country has not collapsed into a slave state yet. We also don't hold anyone hostage, we just move to our own level of competence, drive and motivation. If we feel we aren't valued, we move to where we feel we are. In a society of intelligent humans with free speech and available communication, equilibrium finds itself. Why is this so scary? I honestly think that the majority of teachers would enjoy better compensation in a non-union competitive environment. I think teachers should be well compensated. I think that theirs is one of the more important roles in our society. In my opinion, it is not your employer holding you back.”
sgillhoolley on Jan 11, 2013 at 10:43:49
“Why do we have to give up our collective bargaining rights? I think you may be right about some teachers faring better if they could negotiate their own compensation...and yet still the vast majority of teachers support the union. So who are you to impose your own choices upon us? You dont want to join a union, fine, dont join one. No one is trying to force you to. But if we choose to stick together to negotiate for all teachers, that is our choice, not yours. Not unless you are a fascist (which means government and business leaders calling the shots).”
Jan 11, 2013 at 10:25:25
“The damage is done. It is really too bad. Teachers rank with doctors in my mind in terms of necessity and most importantly, value. I have always been a proponent of pay them well, they hold our future in our hands. I never thought that would change, but sadly, it has. In my mind, they have now become simple employees with little foresight, embracing a culture where excellence cannot be rewarded.”
Jan 9, 2013 at 11:46:30
Canada British Columbia
“What an incredible and well articulated comment. You are right in that it is all about communication, honesty and understanding ones needs. If it works for ALL people involved and affected by the relationship, then it would be an incredible way to live. I searched long and hard for real world examples of this working for all parties involved. I was not successful. I am glad to hear that it is working for you. Don't get me wrong, finding a committed relationship that is working for all parties is just as hard, there are just more targets. Congrats on making it work.”
Jan 9, 2013 at 11:14:29
“You can't live in a stock portfolio and it won't change your diapers or push your wheelchair. Pay your mortgage, pay your bills, live and love in peace..... Family, friends and community are where real value and dividends come from. Lets get back to where we all looked after each other. Excess is getting excessive.”
Jan 7, 2013 at 12:41:52
Canada British Columbia
“It's amazing the number of times this response is appropriate. Get in or get out!
Life is hard, relationships are hard. If you aren't up to the task, please allow your partner the full freedom to find someone who is. Open relationships are like communism. Awesome in theory, as long as you don't dig too deeply into it or involve humans.
This is not to say that I believe that people should be together forever. People change over time and sometimes their lives go in different directions. It isn't right or wrong per se, it just is. When the the time comes, be an adult and make the right choice, no matter how hard it is.
Committed relationships, by definition, preclude the whole "open" thing. Choosing to commit to another person is actually the adult act of accepting that you cannot have everything that you want when you want it. By extension, if done properly, it is the adult action of choosing what things are most important to you and choosing the partner that will provide those things and letting go of the rest.”
polylovi on Jan 8, 2013 at 14:40:18
“"Choosing to commit to another person is actually the adult act of accepting that you cannot have everything that you want when you want it."
It's true that every relationship requires compromise and sacrifice, but committing to be together in the long run does not mean that we have to place unnecessary restrictions on ourselves that don't make sense to the people involved. A committed relationship means that two people have mutually agreed to be together and support eachother in the long run. Our commitment was precluded by many conversations about our feelings on nonmonogamy and we continue this dialogue, so there is absolutely no need for dishonesty.
Good relationships require trust and honest communication, and they are healthiest when partners find joy in giving eachother what makes them happy. For me, this means I am happy when my boyfriends find new partners who also add joy and meaning to their lives. It's called compersion. I trust that my partners love me, respect me and find value in our relationship, and so I am not jealous or threatened by insecurities. They reciprocate that trust, and this makes me feel secure in myself and my relationships.
Not everyone wants other partners, but it is important to acknowledge that some do. This is the adult way of behaving, rather than cheating or breaking apart wonderful relationships for natural desires.”
Libertarian5 on Jan 8, 2013 at 11:57:44
“I join the others who disagree. I'm married since 25 years and my wife and I have a lot in common, from kids to mortgages. We are there for each other. But do I want her monogamy? She has a problem letting herself enjoy the fruits of this earth, and if another man would awake her sexually, I'd be very happy--and still her devoted hubby because of all the rest we have together.”
the dharma bum on Jan 7, 2013 at 15:43:52
“you're absolutely incorrect. I can only have one friend? Only love one of my children? If its not for you, fine. But don't go making blanket pronouncements on a topic that either you clearly don't understand, or are committed to reject out of hand through some religious or other prejudice.”
keithltaylor on Jan 7, 2013 at 15:40:38
“absolutely not true. I can only have one friend? Only love one of my children? If its not for you, fine. Don't make blanket pronouncements on a topic clearly you either don't understand, or are predisposed, through some religious or other orthodoxy, to reject out of hand.”
“Uhhhh...... I would be one of the producers. And company "collectively organised"??? Have you ever worked for a company? Practice is often quite a bit different from theory? Interesting though, that you bring up lack of guts when discussing a group that cannot negotiate individually, so resorts to the "Borg" mentality. Clearly, we come from different worlds...... Seems like you've got a little pent up "somthing or other" going on there. Good luck with all of that. I hope it all works out.”
NTodd on Dec 19, 2012 at 16:23:25
“Teachers produce a huge amount of economic value. Don't flatter yourself into thinking that only private sector workers produce. And a company or government is an organization of capital that is produced by many people, nothing conceptually radical or unusual there. Your amateur psychologizing is as one-dimensional as your amateur economics. ”
“Now there is an interesting angle. One of the things that really resonated with me on a trip to Italy was that you were just as likely to see a businessman and a cabbie having lunch together as two businessmen. Open class structure equals more access to role models? Now there is a study. I wonder how this ties into high density low income housing, gated communities etc.... It would be nice if a child was not taught that the person who is the most successful is the person with the most cash and or stuff. It would be even nicer if in many low income situations that person wasn't the drug dealer.”
Machine Head on Dec 19, 2012 at 11:53:10
“Far to often (and sadly), many young men have grown up with the gangster or drug dealer as their role models. You mentioned gated communities; IMHO they are a symptom of a sick society.”