“In the case I'm talking about it's not about being unhappy in the relationship, it's about something missing from your life that the relationship can only provide when it's new. Often people don't figure this out until they are well into their lives, with families. Some live with it, some can't.
I understand what you're saying in your last paragraph, but with the issue I'm talking about, it's not the person you're with that's the problem, it's something inside you that you never knew was there.
Anyway, didn't mean to get so deep. It's just that I read about all these reasons for cheating, but I never see anybody write about this one particular one. I've always wondered what that is.”
AudriG on Jun 4, 2014 at 12:16:29
“Thank you for elaborating. That makes more sense now. :)”
Jun 3, 2014 at 11:35:55
“Nausea? Is that really what you think I meant? I'm not talking about being grossed out. I'm talking about impact. What you describe above would not have been nearly as memorable. Yes, it would have conveyed the action, but not the emotion.”
pepimartinez on Jun 3, 2014 at 11:43:34
“A number of tweets/posts I saw from friends did convey nausea as a reaction, which is why I mentioned it. Perhaps it wouldn't have been as memorable, but it also wouldn't have garnered the headline on this site "The Most Brutal 'Game Of Thrones' Death EVER."
Emotion isn't something I took into account, however, so you have me there. I've looked into it more to understand the situation better because while many comments have just been from fanboys and that 18-35 (probably more like 24) target crowd I've mentioned, some conversations such as this one are on topic and about how they've decided to depict violent acts and their impact.
As I understand it, The Mountain is a careless, soul-sucking killer who has no sympathy, empathy, or care for anyone in this world. In short, he's sorta like the killer in a horror movie, so depicting this scene in this way does, emotionally, make you feel a certain way about this character. So I definitely understand where you're coming from.
Oh, and I appreciate the even-handed conversation :)”
Jun 3, 2014 at 11:05:16
“I believe it would. Anyone can find nudity anywhere online. It's easily accessible. Why would anyone watch 55 minutes of television for 2 minutes of nudity? It makes no sense. Take out the nudity and I doubt you would lose any viewers.
Now as for the violence, to me the violence is completely necessary. My wife screamed when the fight ended the way it did. It rattled her in a big way. Would she have been as rattled if the Mountain had simply broken Oberyn's neck? Would the impact have been the same? Not even close. She was still talking about it last night.
Tell me, how would you depict such a horrific death differently without toning it down? How would you make someone feel, in their gut (not their brain), the impact of the conclusion of that fight?”
pepimartinez on Jun 3, 2014 at 11:29:27
“I wouldn't have them feel it in their gut, I don't think the nauseating effect is necessary to tell the story. I think showing The Mountain's thumbs push down quickly, then a shot of his reaction as blood splashes on his face and ultimately him buckling when the head is crushed, followed by the same exact overhead shot showing the blood around Red Viper would have conveyed the same violent act without the "rattling" effect.”
“It's not the getting laid part that makes them cheat. It's the thrill of the chase. Remember, women get laid when they want, men get laid when they can, so there is a chase. When you're in a relationship, the chase is over, and it cannot be faked with role playing. So I believe the man isn't cheating to get laid, he cheating for the feeling of being ABLE to get laid.
Disclaimer - the above is meant to be a reason, not an excuse.”
AudriG on Jun 3, 2014 at 17:53:49
“I guess that makes a bit more sense. I like when someone starts flirting with me or asking for my number even though I'm in a long-term relationship. It feels good to know I'm still attractive and still "able to get laid" as you say. I'm always honest that I'm taken, but I know the feeling you're talking about.
I still feel like someone must be unhappy in their relationship to cheat. Maybe they just aren't admitting it or aren't good at identifying their needs? Something must be lacking for someone to take it that far. :/ Its confusing to me.
I know some people just don't feel fulfilled in a monogamous relationship. They get bored or feel trapped. Nowadays, they don't have to choose between monogamy and cheating. They could find someone wanting a more open relationship. Maybe they're uncomfortable with the their spouse sleeping with someone else. Or they might be religious and feel that's immoral... and not let themselves be happy. Or maybe that's just too strange for them; they wouldn't know how to even start. Also, they could already be with someone they love who wouldn't be okay with an open relationship.
I like feeling like I'm someone's one and only. That we can tell each other anything and its safe. That intimacy wouldn't be the same in an open relationship for me. If I was so unfulfilled that I felt the need to cheat, I'd just leave and find someone I'm more compatible with.”
Jun 3, 2014 at 10:08:01
“So do all premium channel shows that depict violence and nudity do the same number as Thrones? If you took the story out and just left the violence, what do you think the ratings would do?
The answer to the first question is no and the answer to the second question is decrease. Therefore, you are incorrect in your assumption.”
pepimartinez on Jun 3, 2014 at 10:54:29
“They don't because their story isn't as compelling. The story (based on the books) draws a huge audience, and while too vast of a universe for me, is incredibly interesting and captivating to others with or without the gratuitous use of violence. Obviously, based on this, I know the ratings would fall if they only left the violence.
However, what if they didn't tone down the violence, but depicted it differently? What if they removed some of the nudity for the sake of nudity? How do think it would fare then? Would it generate as much buzz and still have the same traction with the 18-35 crowd?”
“Unless someone categorically states that teaching women to defend themselves is the only thing that should be done, you're just inferring it.
It's just like the knobs who constantly cry "Not all men." When something is common sense, it doesn't have to be spelled out.”
Skellington 187 on May 30, 2014 at 11:49:31
“Repost from another reply saying about the same thing:
"Hmmm, good point. I probably jumped to the conclusion due to the sheer amount of victim blaming I see normally. That and the numerous places I've seen over the past week trying to pin the shooting on anything but Roger's misogynistic views (combined with other factors of course) despite the fact that he wrote a 141-page "manifesto" saying exactly that."”
“As soon as you can MAKE every parent teach their kid to respect women, your thought will make sense. Until then, it's the real world or nothing. Teaching a woman to defend herself is not victim blaming. Teaching anyone to defend themselves is not victim blaming, it's common sense.”
montims on Jun 9, 2014 at 08:59:31
“Except that when a woman doesn't fight back because she's terrified, she is told it was not really rape, and if a woman DOES fight back, the man is invariably stronger and can hurt her worse that she hurts him, and rapes her anyway.”
Skellington 187 on May 30, 2014 at 11:07:10
“The act of teaching someone self-defense is not. However, when it's implied that it's these women's responsibility to defend themselves rather than their attackers to not do it in the first place, that *is* victim blaming by definition. It's no different than telling a rape victim that they should have fought back more, not gotten drunk, worn different clothes, etc.”
“Where in his post did he blame the victim. I read about what both boys and girls are taught and the fallout from that. Where is the blame?”
Yossarian22 on May 29, 2014 at 18:41:46
“Re-read the post:
"But we now have a situation in which girls are being programmed to be hypersexual in their behavior, with the Hollywood Humberts providing no backup plan for when their "suggestions" for young women elicit unwanted results."
The blame is being placed on girls' "hypersexual behavior" with rape, harassment and catcalling considered "unwanted results" of their behavior. That's victim-blaming trash. Girls aren't harassed or raped or dehumanized because of how they dress or because they flirt too much; they're victimized because men choose to victimize them.”
“Said almost the same thing in response to a different post. I think you stated it better. That graph is meaningless because it has no context.”
Dmschlom on May 23, 2014 at 12:12:15
“Yes, well I mean we COULD have a conversation about HOW we are creating jobs in this economy. I notice another article on huffpo talks about the prevalence of slave labor in the world these days. That creates surplus wealth which results in situations where there is no way Americans can be employed making practical items that people need -- hence, stuff has to be done to create all sorts of bogus jobs through byzantine regulation, etc., which do not really make Americans happy. And, I think an underlying rule can be stated that, if you are working at a job where you are providing a necessary service to society, you have bargaining power. If you are working at a job created through political maneuvering all as a payoff to academia where you really aren't providing any positive service to society that is NECESSARY, then you will have no bargaining power, your employer has all the bargaining power. After all, they say don't look a gift horse in the mouth.”
“It shows no such thing. What jobs are we talking about? There's absolutely no info here. Example: If the A student goes into teaching and the C student becomes a plumber or electrician (or any blue collar job where pay is based more on hours worked), who is going to make more? Do sex or race enter into that question? No.
That's why this little graph is meaningless.”
Sam McKenzie on May 23, 2014 at 12:57:39
“my thoughts exactly.
what we need is either a chart adjusted for fields of emplyoment or simply a chart showing employment by gender across different fields so we can draw our own conclusions.”
Tallula Duck on May 23, 2014 at 12:42:35
“You said ...That's why this little graph is meaningless.