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A Slut's View on Porn

A Slut's View on Porn
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If you know me, it's no secret that I'm a huge proponent of pornography. I've been a fan ever since I caught glimpse of the stack of Playboys in my father's desk when I was 10. My first chance to watch an actual porn flick was when I was 14 and a friend pulled out the VHS copy of Insatiable. It was risky and dirty and fun. I've been hooked ever since. From Marilyn Chambers to Sasha Grey, I've seen plenty.

It wasn't until my 30s that I got a good look at hardcore alternative porn (and it must be noted that I'm talking about predominantly hetero-skewed porn). The Internet introduced me to things I had never seen or even heard of, and I was happy to consume. My biggest sources for such consumption were sites of extreme fetish porn. From gang bangs to 'O' training to spectacles of public disgrace, you can find pretty much every deviant fetish there is, usually including a woman getting mock tortured in some way or another, all within a few clicks. I would regularly visit these sites for the weekly teaser clips to see just what the producers had devised. The clips are strategically set up to show a few sex acts followed by the participant happily describing what a fantastic experience it all was, despite them gagging, screaming or crying through it only moments before (the consensual aspect of these sites is important -- as it should be -- for both the viewer and the sites' legal team). Always extreme, after a while it just got plain boring. Although the participants change, the content continues along much the same path.

Now, I have to hand it to this particular type of producer as the porn I've been watching in my adulthood has to meet some pretty strict criteria. I have no patience for cheesy plot lines, tacky motel linens or men in sneakers and ankle socks. The environment has to be just as interesting as the action and these sites deliver because the nature of the sex is mirrored in the surrounding environment and viewers aren't subjected to the ugly sets for which early porn is famous. But again, seeing the same motions in the same venues gets a bit tedious after a while. These producers rely on those who are viewing for the pure act of fucking. I get it.

Although I started to find the routine at these sites uninspired, I respect what they and their counterparts are doing: delivering raw fucking, hiring people who willingly come to their studios, all in the name of uninhibited sex and honest capitalism. I see nothing wrong with making a buck or million using sex. Earlier this year, however, I went from someone who runs an art community based on sex (all the good bits of art and sex positivity) to also co-founder of what has become one of the largest feminist movements in history (all the uncomfortable, harsh and evil bits of sex). I'm not going to expound on it here because that's a whole other blog post, but I will explain that working in an environment filled with accounts of rape, cruel objectification of women and hypersexualization can wreak havoc on emotions, and it certainly altered the way I look at porn.

Now, there are people out there -- so called experts and writers who do large book tours -- who preach that all porn is evil, and I will stick to my guns and tell you that not all porn is so. There is a slew of porn being created that isn't all about the degradation of women being used against their will. But there is a large percentage of porn out there that makes its money based on how far the dominant participants can push the submissive ones, mainly the man/men over the woman. Dominance and submission is not something I'm opposed to; far from it, really. But the last few months have forced me look through a different lens at how women in porn are portrayed.

While I used to view with a lack of interest images of a man's boot on a woman's neck or a woman's face being forced on a man's cock until she's gagging and crying, I now cringe. Heavy BDSM torture was never really my preferred type of porn in the first place, but these days I actually view it with some disdain. I'm now hyper aware of what the content of porn can imply and how it can be perceived, and I haven't reconciled my feelings about it.

I understand that porn is divided into niches, and not every niche turns everyone's crank. Some people get off on torture and heavy dominance play, and that's fine as a segment of the larger porn picture. But when that torture and type of play seep into every other genre of porn, it gets to be a bit much. Mainstream porn is no longer guy meets girl and they get it on. It's guy meets girl and he treats her like dirt. From forced gagging, to filling in every hole to verbal abuse, it's getting more and more difficult to find porn that doesn't have these or similar scenarios.

I've always had a predisposition for porn where the woman is in control or where there's no power play at all and there are pornographers and other artists who set out to create something different from the typical. These are more my speed as they still show raw sex, minus the anger or torture. I'm not saying that someone can't enjoy torture, as I've enjoyed a few marks on my own body, but what bothers me most is that in a time when pornographers are forced to push the envelope with content due to the to oversaturation of the market, the way most choose to do it is to show how far they can push a woman's body to the point of breaking. This isn't creativity, it's laziness. In the myriad of ways sex can be portrayed, using women as whipping posts for degradation is a fairly low form, especially when there often isn't an equal depiction of the other side.

Does it mean I'll stop viewing porn? Absolutely not. What it does mean is that my porn consumption is organic and as with everything else, I'm always learning and my opinions change based on experience. It also means that I'll be working a bit harder to find porn that I can enjoy. Or maybe I'll just make my own.

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