This article exists as part of the online archive for HuffPost Canada, which closed in 2021.

I Was Bullied, Suicidal Then Found My Voice As An RCMP Officer

I was paralyzed in my bed. I remembered my dream to be a police officer because I wanted to help people and here was this young man, who wanted nothing more than to be accepted for who he was, taking his own life. I decided that I was going to be more than someone reading headlines, hoping the world became a better place. I decided to go out there and make a difference myself.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
Stop Bullying
shutterstock
Stop Bullying

When I was five years old, I had a dream that I wanted to grow up and become a police officer. If you had asked me then, or if you ask me now, I would tell you it's simply because I want to help people. This dream remained with me for many years.

Growing up, I lived in a broken home. My father was a "high functioning alcoholic, I had a terrible stepmother and I was horrifically introverted. My stepmother believed that "kids don't belong upstairs" and made me stay in the basement. It was four cement walls, a cement floor, no Internet or fancy electronics -- just a small black and white TV Already being terribly shy, being limited to the basement did not help. I had no one to talk to, confide in or support me. I was alone.

Going to school was equally as bad. Being so shy made me the target of many youth. They discovered that all they had to do was call me a couple of bad names and I would break down crying. When I say crying, I mean a river from my eyes, shoulders shaking, unable to breathe and certainly not able to communicate.

I went through this unbearable isolation both at home, and at school, from the age of six through 17. I felt depressed, alone, and at times, thought of suicide. I felt that no one liked me, no one wanted to be my friend.

I took each day one at a time until I was 17 when the stepmother was screaming at me. Something inside of me had enough and I walked out of the house with only the clothes on my back. I ran away. I have lived on my own since.

At the age of 33, I finally decided to apply to the RCMP. I was accepted and am truly living my dream in Surrey, B.C. I am a very proud Mountie.

On Oct. 17, 2011, I read a story about a 15-year-old boy named Jamie Hubley who killed himself. He bullied relentlessly for years because he was a figure skater, and later openly gay.

I was paralyzed in my bed. I remembered my dream to be a police officer because I wanted to help people and here was this inspirational young man, who wanted nothing more than to be accepted for who he was, taking his own life. I decided that I was going to be more than someone reading headlines, hoping the world around me became a better place. I decided to go out there and make a difference myself.

I connected with Hubley's father who gave me his blessing to share his son's story with the world. I created my own website for Bullying Ends Here and then decided to start speaking to local youth on my days off and at my own expense. I really thought this would be a very small initiative one or two days per month. But what happened is that one teacher told another who told another.

In just a few weeks, the media picked up on what I was doing. The RCMP also recognized that this was getting big and they quickly became my biggest supporter. I was offered an opportunity to work on this initiative full-time to see where it might lead.

At each presentation I share the details of my private life and growing up. I then tell Hubley's story as though he is still with us. When I reveal that he committed suicide because of the bullying for being "unique," this is where I share that I too am gay.

I challenge the youth to reflect on themselves and see if something inside of them just changed for the negative towards me. If so, they have some serious work to do. I tell them about how I created this entire project for them. I tell them that I have been gay the entire time speaking to that point and that I like them no matter their thoughts on me are.

I accept them for who they are and I will help them when needed whether they like me or not. They can't take that away from me. I challenge them to look in the mirror and ask themselves: "Was I the very best person I could have been today" and then challenge themselves to be better tomorrow.

I also challenge them to help those who won't speak for themselves -- the victims. I tell them to stand up to the bully or, in the very least, tell an adult. Be the voice for the victim. Be someone's hero!

In only five months, I have travelled across Canada and spoken to over 15,000 youth. I have received four emails from students stating that I saved their lives.

I remember what it is like to feel alone, depressed and suicidal. I know what it's like to have addictions in the family, to have a crappy home life and to not feel loved. I remember what it is like to be young which is why I am so passionate about this.

Cequan Haskins

School Bullying Incidents

Close
This article exists as part of the online archive for HuffPost Canada. Certain site features have been disabled. If you have questions or concerns, please check our FAQ or contact support@huffpost.com.