M.S. Shadlock's controversial sexual thriller, The Inferno, is about a "sex hotel and casino" in Las Vegas where you gamble with sex, not money. It explores -- among other things -- what happens when couples push the limits of their sexuality in an effort to spice-up their marriages. Would couples really go to a place like this?
While it's undoubtedly true that one of the best gifts we can give our children is a happy and loving marriage, it's difficult to wrap one's head around the notion of placing children second. Especially young ones. One would hope that parents could be mature enough to realize that once they have a child, that child should be the first priority.
I often have people confiding in me about their relationship issues (like I'm the resident expert?), and I have only one statement of advice that I share with everyone: Marriage is hard work! There you have it, folks -- no 12-step program to wedded bliss and no sound-bite, Dr. Phil-worthy, pithy pointers. Just the facts. The cold, hard facts.
Dating and social networking sites provide low-risk, high-excitement ways to connect with strangers and/or reconnect with past friends or lovers. The payoff -- a rush of adrenaline and arousal -- is instantaneous and people often mistakenly believe that they have made an authentic, meaningful connection with someone they have either never met or barely know.
People are choosing to live together in common law relationships in ever greater numbers. Although these relationships very much resemble legal marriages in day-to-day life, the law does not treat them quite the same way. When one spouse dies, the surviving partner can be left in a vulnerable position if proper planning is not in place.
So, it's less than three weeks before Christmas. Friday night. Friends are winding down from their work week, decorating the tree with the kids, and maybe getting ready for a Christmas party. I just learned of my husband's affair. I picked up a card I found in his gym bag. I read the cover and thought, "Wow! This must be my Christmas card." But I didn't put it down, and the surprise was on me. It was from Karen. Karen? Who's Karen?
And so it seems the quality of our sex lives hangs in the balance of these ordinary life moments that have little to nothing to do with sex. And just as easily, they can be reconciled and turned around in a matter of seconds. Remember: In these moments it's really up to you and your partner which way you want your relationship to go.
Bumps in what should be a smooth road are unavoidable. And as most of us know, sometimes the journey -- even an unexpected and unpleasant one -- can have more to offer in the long-term than the destination. Admittedly, that's going to be a tough sell to the 4,000 passengers on the Triumph. But what about when things go wrong in a marriage?
I told my brother-in-law, that at my house blowjobs are given out for hung-up jackets. Without even lifting his head, he scoffed, "Oh, if that were only true!" He was right. Sadly, it is not true. Would BJs be enough to train his brain to think, "Hmmm, this jacket doesn't go on the floor, maybe I'll put it in the closet"? I don't know.
As a couples mediator, I can state with certainty that marriage problems often show up in the bedroom first. For that reason, it's important for a woman to stay sexual. Women often complain that they "don't feel sexy" any more. Weight gain, normal aging and other body changes. If this sounds like you, here are eight steps to go from feeling like a fat cat to purring like a sex kitten.
I believe "sexual incompatibility" is often the catch-all excuse many couples use because they don't know how to work through their outside-the-bedroom couple issues. I would bet my mortgage those couples contemplating divorce are sexually compatible, they're just not willing to invest time and energy into making their sexual relationship work.
Men may take women out on different sorts of dates than they previously did, but the expectation that men be the ones to do this largely remains. When it comes to dating, many men are expected to pay for dates, both by some women, and more commonly, by themselves. Men paying for women on dates because they enjoy their company, and view it as a kind gesture, is not an issue. The issue is that some men still pay for women simply because they are women, and the men would feel emasculated if they did not.
If you think your partner is to blame for your relationship troubles, scroll through these 10 signs and ask yourself: Am I turning into the spouse from hell? While this list isn't exhaustive, it does highlight some of the more problematic behaviours that many of us show in marriage. Life's too short for that.
As a couples' mediator, I see many women who have stopped having fun in their relationships. This year, I'm going back a couple thousand years to excavate some ancient advice from history's most cunning women, such as Cleopatra. How'd she do it? If it worked for the Queen of Egypt in 41 BC, it may work for you in 2013 AD.