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And yes, that includes washing it.
Looking at my greying hair at least once a day, I stopped seeing it like I used to -- as a sign of defeat -- but more like acquiring a loyalty to my age. I started to accept the mantle of middle-aged maturity toward which this "crown" motivated me. It showed up mostly (surprisingly) in my relationships with other women.
Our hair colour is like making a statement, and if we have been going through a tough time, it means we are feeling braver and more attractive. But it does raise the question as to why we have such an emotional attachment to our hair when we could also just buy new clothes to change our appearance.