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We have all experienced that dreaded feeling of intimidation at one time or another. Whether we're intimidated by a situation or a person, that feeling can throw us off balance and lead to devastating results. Keeping yourself on track in the face of intimidation is hard.
This lie shuts us down, blocks out others, isolates us, shames us and perpetuates those heavy feelings and weight of our already hefty burdens. So don't make another excuse not to call. Pick up the phone, my dear friend. I will listen to your story one more time, and one more time again.
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Feelings are great, when they're positive. We smile and high-five to share our exuberance. As co-parents after divorce, we're more in the negative territory at first -- anger, sadness, longing. Who wants to feel those? Easier to ignore them, or distract ourselves with a glass of wine or a movie until the feelings go away.
Who hasn't gone through playground drama, right? What I didn't realize is how this situation was making daughter feel low about herself and her ability to handle her emotions on the playground. I think like most parents I wasn't sure how much to ask her about stress. Culturally, many of us grew up with more conversations about academics and marks than conversations about feelings and stress.
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It is challenging for many people to accept a loss of control as their independence gradually declines. Based on this loss of control, many become anxious, demanding, or resistant. This creates a new set of challenges for the caregiver.
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I like being selfish. I'm not sure when it came to be a bad word, but to me, it's always spoken of the power of self-confidence. Of knowing what you want, what makes you happy, and making that happen for yourself.
I'm torn because my family always comes first, but I also have these ideas and opportunities and the iron is hot and I'm not getting any younger and this is my time, bitch. I'm riddled with guilt just typing that, because society and my upbringing and all that bullshit has programmed me to believe I'm a mother now, so I'm supposed to sacrifice my own dreams for everyone else's. But I'm determined to try my best to fuck that noise and do it all, even if I don't do any of it perfectly. I'd rather live with failure than regret.
Danielle has realized that this way of life can't continue; that's she saying "no" now from a place of fatigue and exhaustion rather than from a place of joy. As she observed, she needs white space in her life. So often she's said "yes" to something that is six or nine months down the road, but it comes up so quickly and just adds to her stress.
For almost four decades, I did not talk about the plane crash. Instead, I buried the tragedy and any associated feelings of grief as deep down as possible. That was the way tragedies and death were dealt with in the 70s. I was told, directly and indirectly, that the subject was closed, never to be discussed... the subject of death was unmentionable.
What is princess math? Your favourite department store is having a half price sale. The gift was originally $200 but you are saving $100. Princess math says -- I was going to spend $200 anyway so now I can buy that purse. The reality is, though, most women aren't flush with money. The problem is that deep down, we know our actions have consequences.
A few pointers on how to go about the scary business of confrontation: Most importantly, start by being affirming. Let your friend know how much you value the relationship, and that this is why you're sharing your concerns.