FORD BROTHERS DIET

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Week 11: Stairway To Hell

I recently found myself at the base of the famed Exorcist Steps in Georgetown, D.C. I started up the first 20 of 97 and thought "Ha! Look at me! I'm as graceful as a salmon leaping upstream." Then, on the 21st step, something kicked in and I started thinking very harsh thoughts about your mother.

Week Eight: And Then There was Cake...

I remember eating -- let's not be polite here -- I was STUFFING a second piece of cake in my mouth, drunk out of my skull. "Jesus, that's good!" I exclaimed to the Bar Mitzvah guests. I was literally sliding the whole piece in like it was on a conveyer belt.

Week Six: This is a Diet. Not a Lifestyle.

The notion that I can unfold a paper clip, stick the tip into my brain, and press the RESET button that will make me go cuckoo for Brussels' sprouts is insane. I will never change into a spa-cuisine kind of eater. I will never choose edamame over taters. This is a diet and it sucks.