On his way to school every day, my son has taken to counting the number of styrofoam faux tombstones adorning each lawn, and the average is four -- that we can see. Store-bought spider webs and half-buried skeletons are probably blocking more featherweight grave markers from sight. Surely this is unnecessary. Surely we can find a way to enjoy Halloween without spending $97.01 on an animated gravekeeper. Why not drop the pageantry and return to the wholesome old-fashioned elements of the holiday: transfat-laden treats and polyester suits that smell like chemicals. Therein lies the true spirit of Halloween.