My husband and I had two children 18 months apart. If you have your kids close together like we did, the "lost zone" can stretch up to five years -- in a row. That's a long time to be living together but doing different things. Remembering to be married means remembering to be together on a basic level, kissing, touching, nice words, helping each other.

I attended a recent dinner party with a friend planning to get pregnant -- and soon. As we were clearing the plates, she asked me, "Do you want kids?" I stammered out an answer. Yes. No. I don't know. I don't want kids right now. She smiled at me sympathetically. "Well, some women just aren't meant to have kids." Hold up. Record scratch. What? I felt like getting pregnant right that moment, out of spite.