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You're processing the world around you, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. And as your mom, I'm doing my best to show you (and remind myself each day) how to bring light into this world each of those days. In the grocery store, at the park, in the classroom. We're in this together. We'll learn together. We'll fall together. We'll get up together.
I refuse to be part of any organized Christian sect because my problem, I realized, isn't with God. It's with a lot of his followers. It's why I ended up leaving the church a few years ago. It's why I struggle so much with hatred and disgust when it comes to Christianity.But it changes at Christmas time.
It took me a long time to learn that my self-consciousness is a signal of the judgment inside of me; I think you're judging me because I've judged for the same reasons. Through social norms or because of my very own judgy gene, I deemed xyz as unacceptable. I can't escape it. We're all judgmental and will be for all the evers. Maybe it's baked into our DNA? Well, I demand a restrand!
Years ago I found out that someone I love is gay. I was instructed to love the sinner and hate his sin. My fidgeting became loud and urgent. How could I be part of a community that knowingly marginalized? I watched his faith circle adjust to the news of his homosexuality. Christianity framed our world in a way that created this need for a period of mourning over something sacred. Personal. None of our goddamn business.