In my mind, the answer to our spontaneous sex woes is simple: a vasectomy. Such a minor thing to have in order for us to have a happy and healthy sex life. Or at least for me it is such a simple and minor thing. Problem is, it's been a year that my husband has been dodging the "you need to get a vasectomy" bullet. Why is birth control up to me and why do I have to be the nagging wife to get this done?
Has "I'm too tired" become the new "I've got a headache"? Today's average couple is always on the go and busy. It's not surprising then that being tired gets in the way of them having good sex on a regular basis. But we can only hold our partner at arm's length for so long before the relationship starts to suffer.
I believe it's the secrecy of your partner engaging in virtual sex that causes the majority of the difficulty -- if not devastation -- to a relationship. I appreciate that it's difficult to bring up that you want to dabble in cyber sex, but it's even more difficult to try and resolve an issue of mistrust.