There's myriad ideologies that stop women from having a healthy relationship with their privates including: negative socialization, lack of education and exposure when young, stigma when admitting they masturbate, and the list goes on and on. Bottom line: until the average gal can have a positive relationship with her vulva, enjoying sex to the maximum will probably be out of her grasp.
For over a hundred years, sex researchers, feminists and pop culture have been enmeshed in an ongoing debate as to which is superior: the vaginal or clitoral orgasm. Regrettably, their high-brow ponderings have left the average gal in their wake wondering whether her orgasm is either real or even the best one.