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I'm doing my best to teach her that it's alright to be honest with me about her feelings, even if it means that mine might get hurt. I hope that I'm doing it right, and that I don't forget that I was once in her shoes, and that my mother was once in mine.
Why do we stop running, spinning, jumping, singing out loud just for the joy of it? Why do we care if no one else is? Why should we care if people think we are bonkers? Just because we are grownups we are supposed to stop throwing our bodies on the ground and smelling the earth?
What is doing your best? In order to do your best; to put the greatest effort into what you are doing, it has to be heartfelt. You need to fully intend to give it all that you have got.
My mom clearly knows what it is to be a mother. She bakes cookies and wants me to call more. She tries (comically, unsuccessfully) to matchmake and frets (poignantly, wistfully) that I'm far from home. But what does it mean to be daughterly?
Mother and daughter relationships are complicated, in no small part because we are all growing up together. Any mother who does the best she can is good enough -- more than good enough.
I tried to give my daughter the childhood and the mother I longed for, having grown up in turbulent circumstances. But there were challenges. Otherwise I would not have gone through four major relationships, with three different father figures marching in and then out the door.
Though my childhood was a fairy tale of sorts, my relationship with my mother has not been without its difficulties. I left home almost 10 years ago and have not been back for more than two weeks at a stretch. Now she wants me to blog with her and I confess it's not my favorite of her many zany ideas.