It's completely normal want to protect your kids when they come home crying because someone was blatantly mean to them. But isn't it true that dealing with these situations helps build character? And if they can't deal with these situations and only rely on us, aren't we setting them up for failure in the future?
When it comes to discipline, many parents have taken a large step backwards, and technology is to blame. In this day and age of smart phone journalism, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook shares, parents have become wary and hesitant of punishing their children in case their actions at any moment are recorded and uploaded to a willing audience in a matter of seconds.
I've been using the power of Santa Claus for a few weeks now, and things are looking good. For maximum effectiveness, the use of Santa and his omnipresence is good for the window directly following Halloween until December 25. During this time, I enjoy the increased attentiveness, dearth of meltdowns and general calm that precedes Christmas day.
We've all heard them. Those annoying phrases that our parents said to us growing up and now that we're parents ourselves, we've decided to inflict them our own kids. The reality is that the true meanings behind these messages that parents tell their kids are often not as straightforward as they appear to be. Following are the top 10 phrases that parents use on their kids, and what they really mean.
I sometimes wonder if I was properly prepared for having five kids, four of whom are little boys. After all, no one handed me the instructions manual that explained what makes boys tick! So, I've decided to write the Cole's Notes version, just for you! Share it if you know someone who also never received the manual!
Our daily routine was very predictable: my son would arrive home from school, he and his siblings would be given a nutritious snack, and then it would be homework time. That's when the tantrums, rage and complaints would begin. Common complaints were that I was SO mean and unfair, or "torturing" him to do his homework! Here are some tips I have used to get my son to do his homework.
I don't really want to mention the horrifying tragedy of Amanda Todd's story, but I will because teen suicide and cyberbullying has to stop. These difficult issues have taken the mom media by storm lately, prompting discussion on how we can all help -- are legislative changes required or will more basic community changes make a difference
So you went from being a slacker with unrealized potential to a mover and shaker in the world in 13 steps. Or more likely, you just read all the blog versions of the whole book (without skipping over too much, I hope) and you are wondering a bunch of questions. I will answer the questions first and then get to the ones who have gone through the 13 steps.
With the kids, my husband is the sensitive one. While I am the screamer, he is the voice of reason. I almost felt inadequate when he told me his approach. But then I remembered: who I am is enough too. I don't have to change who I am, I just have to channel the qualities that make me who I am in the right direction.
Most people feel something missing in their lives. So, how do we bring meaning into our lives? How do we begin to feel truly alive? Do something crazy! Help someone else. Choose to make one small positive change in the world. When we start thinking about helping others, we raise not only their hopes but our own heart vibrations. Our hearts rise up beyond the petty slights and missteps of daily life and begin to focus on a bigger picture.
When you are mindful of your daily life, your life is one of being present. Of really living and not just killing time to go virtual. Learning to care and to matter may be one of the greatest commodities in the age of ideas because then your work, play, study and relationship times become chances to experience, feel, think and grow. Live each day like it was the only one you have. Care about people and learn from everything.
The young clients I work with tend to be addicted to: video gaming, magic cards, junk food and/or cannabis. Many would say that their addictions seem to provide a level of comfort -- a buffer from an unsafe world. Having an addictive nature means that you have a passionate nature. So, how do you take these passions and make them become something generative?
So here you are, taking another stab at "making it" in life. Your parents are cautiously optimistic.You are non-committal. Your dog still thinks you're amazing (but he likes Yanni). It should go well. You're older. You've had a few "challenges" under you belt and you've survived. You're not on the street or in a cult or both. Then why so nervous?
In a positive stage of your life, you're meeting with people who will accept you for following your purpose and sharing the qualities of passion and striving that you have in common. Each positive action builds upon itself. Each setback becomes merely a minor bump on the road you are travelling on and everything leads you towards your bliss. You may just find yourself unboxed and free for the very first time!
As you and your children settle into the new school year with new schedules and new activities, it can all be quite overwhelming. Your role as family manager has just stepped into high gear -- planning, organizing, directing, monitoring, and motivating are in the forefront as you help your children adjust to everything this school year brings. So how can you get everything done and not lose your marbles?
My boys were keeping score over everything and it drove me crazy. I was officially on strike. This meant I would be doing nothing. If they wanted food, they would have to prepare it, if they needed clean clothes, they would have to wash them. If they needed something at the store, they would have to walk to the store to get it. They would put themselves to bed. There would be no fun outings until the strike was over.
You can study, you can practice, you can philosophize all you want, it means diddly until you test it out there in the "real world." Now comes the next step for a young adult searching to find their success in life: putting three toes in the water. If you get three straight failures, remember Edison took 10,000 wrong tries to find the right filament, creating the incandescent bulb.
What would you do? How would you be? How would you go about it? Who would you seek out? What if it wasn't what you thought it would be? How would you know when you'd arrived? Be careful for what you wish for. I am going to give you the keys to make whatever you want happen as long as it is for the benefit of all who are touched by your choices.
Now meet your greatest challenger: the time-stealer. He (or she) is fun, charming, great to be with, someone you are happy to do things with, gets all your jokes, just all around great to kill time with. Yes, the time-stealer is a time-killer. You never get it back, and yet, you value the time spent with them.
We need to own what we do. The truth is that it is the things we do just for ourselves, things that we do on a daily basis, things we do when we are inspired but also when we are sick of doing them that builds character and creates something I call Generativity -- the things that one does that improve the quality of life in any way, moment by moment.
At some point in our childhood, we have had some negative incidents happen to us that have caused us to be self-limiting. These become tapes playing in our heads so often that we don't even notice what they say anymore but they effect every decision we make. Here is an example of changing the loops: