When my husband and I recently escaped from our four month long home renovations, our teenagers, our two Labrador retrievers and the cold and wet Vancouver weather, we left our 19-year-old son home alone for two weeks. Yes, we had multiple discussions -- he and I, he and his dad and the three of us. Again and again we said: NO PARTIES, remember to take out the garbage, don't spend too much money, look after your sister if she comes home on the weekend, BE GOOD. But still I was nervous...
One thing most of these people have in common is that they are challenged by some unnamed fears that hinder their success. These people have decided that by choosing to fail and sabotaging the various kinds of help given to them, they can "win." We can all feel Martin Sheen's pain about this kind of "winning."