The Lapine

CP

Why I Don't Picket or Chain Myself to Anything

Unless you've been living in a sleeping bag with your smartphone and a bag of Skittles, you know that there are some pretty squirrely things going on in the world right now. Big, big things that shout out to be shouted at. And smaller just-plain-wrong things that we all encounter every day as we go about our daily chores and chuckles.

Quebec Bans Cowboy Hats

On the heels of the Quebec Soccer Federation banning children from wearing turbans while playing in kiddie league games, the Province of Quebec has extended the ban to include cowboy hats being worn anywhere in public by adults or children. "Cowboy hats are destroying our natural French love of toques," said Premier Pauline Marois, making the announcement from the steps of the Assemblee Nationale (National Assembly) in Quebec City, wearing a green paisley beret to match her business suit.

HUMOUR:Atheist Suicide Bomber Kills 18 Agnostics

In a frightening display of rising sectarian violence, an atheist suicide bomber blew himself up on a busy street in Stockholm three days ago; killing eighteen agnostics and wounding over thirty. Members of the 'Swedish Atheistic Liberation Front' (SALF) have claimed responsibility for the bombing. Declaring the attack as revenge against the explosive agnostic riots, which, last week, hospitalized several atheists and terrorized the atheistic community.

Unwanted Seniors Added to Unwanted Babies Drop-Off Program (Humour Blog)

An Alberta hospital group that just opened two "Angel Cradle" baby boxes for the safe drop-off of unwanted newborns has expanded the program to allow people to drop off unwanted old people. "Far too many babies and oldies are being abandoned in dumpsters," said Dr. Nina Swan of Covenant Health, the Catholic-based, government-funded health care administration that operates the two hospitals hosting the programs.