TRADITIONAL HALLOWEEN

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The Week In Review: This Halloween, Forego the Inflatable Hearse Carriage

On his way to school every day, my son has taken to counting the number of styrofoam faux tombstones adorning each lawn, and the average is four -- that we can see. Store-bought spider webs and half-buried skeletons are probably blocking more featherweight grave markers from sight. Surely this is unnecessary. Surely we can find a way to enjoy Halloween without spending $97.01 on an animated gravekeeper. Why not drop the pageantry and return to the wholesome old-fashioned elements of the holiday: transfat-laden treats and polyester suits that smell like chemicals. Therein lies the true spirit of Halloween.