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Part 2: Queen Elizabeth, Out of Touch

Posted: 05/29/2012 5:44 pm

Tim Knight who started off British and became Canadian, writes the regular HuffPost column Watching the Watchdog. Yesterday he began a six-part series on the Queen of Canada whose Diamond Jubilee will be celebrated next Saturday.To try to understand who this Queen of Canada is and what she does, Knight examines her Canadian titles one by one.

Starting with the first words of her official title: "Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom, Canada and Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith."

Elizabeth the Second

The first Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry Vlll, who had six wives (divorced, executed, died, divorced, executed, widowed).

Known as "Gloriana" ("I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king") ruled during England's Golden Age more than 400 years ago.

Her navy defeated the mighty Spanish Armada. Shakespeare wrote for her court. Her favourite pirate, Francis Drake, sailed around the globe foreshadowing what would become the British Empire -- greatest colonial power in all history, once home to four out of five of the world's people -- and eventually the Commonwealth of Nations.

By contrast, 18 monarchs after Elizabeth l, Elizabeth ll presided over the breakup of what remained of the British Empire.

This Elizabeth is the latest in a long line of 40 English monarchs starting with William the Conqueror (delightfully known as William the Bastard) in 1066, stretching back more than 1,000 years. It's a magnificent mixture of warriors, saints, heroes, non-entities, rogues, villains, murderers and assorted crazies.

This Elizabeth, like her predecessor, grew up pampered, coddled, confident, regal and very aware of her royal blood. When she enters the room everyone stands. Men bow, women curtsey and the band plays her very own song, "God Save The Queen".

All her life she's lived in a fantasyland -- a prisoner of her wealth (she's one of the world's richest women), her awesome titles, fawning courtiers, flattering sycophants, obsequious servants and toadying public relations flacks.

More than 200 butlers, cooks and cleaning staff work in the royal household, which means she's had almost no contact with reality during her 86 years. She's never had to make her own bed, cook her own food, run for a bus or worry about retirement. As a result, she has little idea how her commoner subjects actually live, think, or behave. She doesn't know how they struggle to succeed, or merely survive.

Imprisoned in her golden cage, reigning but not ruling, Elizabeth has always been treated as a sort of living god.

By all accounts, her air of studied gravitas and royal noblesse oblige isn't something she puts on for public occasions and takes off in private. It's permanent. She's never an egalitarian let's-forget-I'm-your-Queen-for-a-while sort of woman. In fact, a friend is quoted as saying flatly: "She is never -- you know -- not the Queen."

Her friends are almost all family members, other aristocrats or horse-racing grandees.

She keeps a herd of Pembroke corgis, breeds and races splendid thoroughbred horses. She once remarked: "I should like to be a horse."

Critics blame her for personifying and perpetuating the notorious British class system which, to this day, divides Britons by accent, education, social standing and prospects.

Elizabeth's dysfunctional family's various, voracious marital and sexual exploits have given her considerable grief. Many of her closest relatives, including three of her four children, have divorced. Her late sister, Princess Margaret (a divorcée), was denounced in Parliament as "a royal parasite" and "floozy."

By all accounts she loves her husband (and distant cousin) Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh, despite his notoriously arrogant, cantankerous personality and often offensive public remarks. He's reputed to have had numerous affairs during their 65 years of marriage, while she has undoubtedly been faithful to her wedding vows.

Her son and heir, Prince Charles, lurks and ages rather gracelessly in the royal wings with a new wife after a disastrous, mutually unfaithful marriage to the fairytale princess, Diana.

Her grandsons, William (the heir to the heir) and Harry (the spare to the heir to the heir), have long been tabloid celebrities. Still, after enthusiastically sowing the traditional royal oats with sublime droit de seigneur, they do seem to be finally growing up.

William even got married and brought his bride to Canada for their rather less-than-romantic honeymoon. At least to date, he's shown no public sign of stepping outside the matrimonial bedroom or doing anything more than usually outrageous for a royal.

In spite of her age, great wealth, portentous titles, and regal status, Elizabeth is extraordinarily hard working. She explains simply: "I have to be seen to be believed."

To that end she has at least one official engagement almost every day, is patron of more than 620 charities and similar organizations, has conferred some 404,500 honours and awards, and made more than 260 official overseas visits to 116 different countries.

She's visited Canada 25 times -- more than any of her other realms and territories except the United Kingdom, where she lives.

In this, her Diamond Jubilee year, she's making an exhaustive and exhausting tour of the United Kingdom by road, rail, air and sea, visiting 52 cities, towns and villages along the way.

So why and how does she keep up such a strenuous schedule? She once explained with becoming modesty: "It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained."

Wednesday, Knight explores Elizabeth's next two titles: "... By the Grace of God ..." and "... Of the United Kingdom ..."

On Thursday, he'll explore the "... Canada ..." part of her title.

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mary Newland
11:46 AM on 05/30/2012
You state that she has never had to do anything that "normal" people do. So the part where she served in the military during WWII, was an ambulance driver and was also a mechanic doesn't count. It just doesn't seem to matter how much is done criticism seems to be the play. These people didn't chose this life and their lives are not their own. You didn't mention how Elizabeth is also known for her sense of humour. Oh no...she is SO into herself and being "THE QUEEN" I think you have done her and yourself a great disservice !! Also remember that she is still a mother and a grandmother...even a great grandmother and has had to face all the problems that many families face except in public all over the papers for everyone to see...that in fact "normal" people don't have to endure!!
Seamus OMalley
My micro-bio is no longer empty.
08:46 AM on 06/02/2012
She drove a van for a couple weeks towards the war's end, well after the blitz was done. Her military 'service' is laughable.
... and I faved your comment by accident.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mary Newland
11:56 AM on 06/02/2012
The fact that they all stayed in London during the blitz when they could have sought refuge elsewhere is also not laudable? Central London was in great need and I think that you may find reading about it educational. My Dad served in the RCAF, was a trained wireless air gunner and was preparing to be deployed when the war ended so I guess his service is also laughable in your book. He would disagree with you.
10:37 AM on 05/30/2012
Your assertion that she has never had to cook her own food does not quite mesh with the fact that she can and does cook. There was a news article just the other day on the experience of various former GGs and PMs with the Queen, and one of the things that was mentioned was that the Royal Family cooked for Michelle Jean. If the Queen can cook for someone who serves in her name, I am sure she can cook for herself to.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Tim Knight
04:09 PM on 05/30/2012
My point was, of course, that she's never HAD to cook.

And referring to the previous comment abut her wartime record, laudable as it was, records show she wasn't actually allowed to drive the trucks and did limited service or maintenance on them.
10:17 AM on 05/30/2012
Could we in Canada give Royality a taste of reality? Let them live , travel & bother us on the news on their own dime. We do not need the fantasy
09:58 AM on 05/30/2012
As much as I admire her for the person, not for being 'royal', I still say that it is time to do away with this expensive relic of the past - and not just in the UK. Now with all the expenditures to celebrate the Diamond Jubilee, money the country can ill afford to waste - the royals are just plain out of touch with reality. The House of Windsor wants to party....fine, but make them pay - they aren't exactly poor.
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SayBlade
This micro bio intentionally left blank.
06:59 PM on 05/30/2012
And, forget about the economic losses of tourism and private economic activity that take place surrounding royal tours and events. Also, the many charities and educational institutions who benefit from the work of the royals will have to deal with the public themselves. Yep, just let it all fade away.
11:25 AM on 05/31/2012
And while the Royals continue to live in stolen splendour - one they didn't work for!!!, you and I - the peons, are driven into serfdom deeper and deeper every day.
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Ian Llangan
Your Invisible Sky Friend Is Morally Abhorrent
01:39 AM on 05/30/2012
Tim, do you know that old saying "You don't get to choose your parents!" ? Think about that for a minute.

I'm no great supporter of the idea of a "royal family" myself but can you maybe give an 85 year old lady (who was really never presented with any other options in life) a break? Your essay takes a personal tone that makes it sound like she personally peed in your coffee. I don't agree with her rank and privilege but I don't think she had a whole lot of choice in the matter and, like the rest of us, she has played the hand she was dealt. I think she's done her job - as the description was handed to her - pretty well under the circumstances, and I sure wouldn't want it.
02:36 PM on 05/30/2012
No no no no no. To be consistent with the rest of what he wrote, I'm sure his take would be that HM would have had a courtier pee in his coffee on her behalf.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Trashcan Man
Luck does not reduce risk even when it seems to.
11:46 PM on 05/29/2012
Elizabeth is a fine. She has heritage and history behind her. Charles is okay too but his rotten kids... No way. That should be the end. Canada needs to cut them loose.
If the kids want to visit Canada they can do it on their own dime. Not much better than welfare bums. The rest of us are working and they're skiing in the afternoon in middle of the week.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Maribeth Curry
03:22 PM on 05/30/2012
Hm so Andrew fighting in the Falkland war and William rescuing people at sea when he's at work on a regular basis- they don't do anything to earn their keep. Wm & Kate didn't even take a honeymoon so he could get back to work and then he was off on maneuvers for several weeks- as normal as any other married working couple. She does her own shopping, cooking and cleaning- so unless you have something else to add, calling them welfare bums indicates your ignorance.
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SayBlade
This micro bio intentionally left blank.
07:02 PM on 05/30/2012
"...welfare bums."

I am sure the hundreds of charities and educational and social ventures on whose behalf the royals work tirelessly would beg to differ.
10:07 PM on 05/29/2012
Oh Mr. Knight. Oh Mr. Knight. While I do love the facts you splay on this page, I have to say I am slightly taken aback by your attention to this "Diamond Jubilee" thing. I mean, I live in this world. I go through the supermarket line-ups and yes, I see the darn Queen or William and Kate on the cover of some magazine and quite honestly, I gag. In fact, I refuse to buy the magazine. So despite the fact all of these little tidbits are interesting, I frankly, couldn't care less. I guess it is the removal of these people's lives from my own that makes me choke when I see this coverage. They aren't real. They are barbie dolls who perpetuate age old notions of colonial power. Talking heads. Sorry Mr. Knight, this one doesn't get my full vote. In fact, I am more than surprised that you would take it upon yourself to write about this. Must be your past life creeping up on you...a need to somehow settle some sort of inner score with your ancestory?? Not sure. Come on, isn't there something else to cover that would get me jumping up and down???
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Tim Knight
09:58 AM on 05/30/2012
Oh Ms. Potternell. Oh Ms. Potternell. Does this mean you won't be reading my other three installments where I get really, really mocking, satirical, sarcastic, ironic, cynical, scornful, derisive, scathing, caustic, cutting, sharp and acerbic in my sardonic British-Canadian way?
06:59 PM on 05/30/2012
Your commentary is neither British nor Canadian nor a combination of both. It is pure unbridled narcissism disguised as satire. Please see a doctor.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mary Newland
11:40 AM on 05/30/2012
Well Potternell. It's amazing how wrong, see also terribly ill-informed one person can be. Do some reading, actually make that research and then you will find out how much you do NOT know about this family what they represent and what they do for their country and the commonwealth. Childish repetition.