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Fort McMurray Strikes Back at Hollywood

09/22/2014 01:55 EDT | Updated 06/16/2017 01:04 EDT

When I worked with Neil Young last year I learned a valuable lesson: Hypocritical hyperbole is the way forward to a better tomorrow. With this in mind, my team of Fort McMurray filmmakers and I will descend upon the good citizens of Los Angeles with all the judgement, condescension and hyperbole we can muster and try and help these people change their evil ways.

Los Angeles is home to Hollywood and the evil corporations that pollute this world with brain deadening movies. They produce more greenhouse gases than all the oilsands combined, but without producing anything useful -- they pollute simply for self-indulgence.

L.A. has over 43,000 mini tailings ponds filled with toxic chemicals like chlorine and dihydrogen oxide that they call swimming pools. Never mind ducks... over 3,000 children drown in these mini tailings ponds in America each year. Don't even get me started on air quality and their addiction to fossil fuels.

Los Angeles has over 3,000 pump jacks in the urban area, sometimes in backyards, sucking up the oil they are addicted to. Placerita oil fields just outside L.A. is considered some of the dirtiest oil in the world and yet they refuse to at least pipe in a cleaner and more ethical product from my community.

My team and I will go to L.A. and make a movie about our campaign to put a stop to the movie industry which is destroying so many lives.

Let's talk about oppressed minorities shall we. Did you know that 12 per cent of the U.S. population is African American yet 40 per cent of the prison population is African American? L.A. is the epicentre of these race wars. Does anybody know how Los Angeles settlers treated the first peoples that were living there? Let's just say they didn't make agreements with them. Don't even get me started on how refugees and those who come from southern nations seeking a better life are treated.

Lives cut short, suffering, vice and crime, poverty, environmental degradation, the destruction of hopes and dreams on Hollywood Boulevard, this is the legacy of Los Angeles if we don't do something to stop them.

My team and I will go to L.A. and make a movie about our campaign to put a stop to the movie industry which is destroying so many lives. We will be armed with pomposity, judgement, condescension and constant looks of horror on our faces. We will also be armed with important environmental technology that I invented, such as a smart car of dog sleds (my lap dog attached to a child sled) and a carbon capture mask for joggers so that they don't have to contribute to global warming with their excess carbon emissions.

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We will also bring them technology and solutions that actual engineers and entrepreneurs are developing in my community that can help them grow food in harsh conditions (we hear their activities have created a statewide drought), reclaim land, reduce or eliminate waste, harness waste for energy, and reduce their carbon footprint.

We need some help for this important mission. None of use have written hit songs or been in the movie "Titanic." We mostly just dig in the dirt, making energy the world can use to elevate themselves. If you want to fly around being pompous, you need our product.

We are a team of talented and accomplished filmmakers some of us have trained in the belly of the beast we now seek to slay. You can help us get there. We just launched a crowd sourcing campaign. We are not funded by industry, we are simply community members who plan on telling our story to the world the way our community wants it told.

Check out the project here www.tarsandsmessiah.com

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