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Why is His Vasectomy My Responsiblity?

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As I limped "blue balled" to read a book in bed I said to my husband in frustration, "You know if you were fixed, we could be having sex right now."

Equally as frustrated he replied, "What's wrong with using a condom!?"

"I'm ovulating today" I warily replied, "and I don't want to take any chances. The condom could break."

It all started a few minutes earlier when my husband nuzzled my neck and I got a warm tingly sensation. I'd been thinking about sex all that long, long day. As Murphy's Law would have it, it was one of those oh-so-rare spontaneous sex moments where we were both in the sex zone.

I was willing, ready and eager to pounce. Images of clothes being flung off, wild sex occurring filled my day-dreaming head -- it had been so long since both of us had been in the zone I was practically drooling.

But alas, as you've already read, I was ovulating and any sex drive was completely zapped thinking about accidentally conceiving.

In my mind, the answer to our spontaneous sex woes is simple: a vasectomy. Such a minor thing to have in order for us to have a happy and healthy sex life. Or at least for me it is such a simple and minor thing.

Problem is, it's been a year that my husband has been dodging the "you need to get a vasectomy" bullet. He's given some valid and some pretty lame excuses as to why he can't have one.

I've patiently listened to them all trying to be empathetic. Because I do appreciate men get all weirded out when it comes to messing with their "boys." It's the main reason why I've been patiently persistent using condoms.

Hoping too many moments of, "Oh we're in the shower and you want sex. OK. BUT you need to get a condom. Off you go." would wear him down. Nope.

Apparently he's happy to use condoms for the next 50 years of our marriage. I'm growing tired of them and, like this spontaneous horny day, it's getting in the way of my sexual happiness.

So I've booked the appointment. All the while listening to him gripe, stomp all over the house and have a man-temper-tantrum. Which leads me to my point: Why is birth control up to me and why do I have to be the nagging wife to get this done? It just doesn't seem fair.

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