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Wearing White to a Friend's Wedding: Modern or Narcissistic?

Posted: 09/01/11 11:49 AM ET

Is it OK to wear white to a wedding? Maybe. Wearing white to a wedding has long been considered a slap in the face to the bride. It's her day, her colour. Considering the wide range of shades to choose from out there, why would anyone go with white being fully aware of the meaning attached?

As with most fashionable traditions, this one has been discarded on many occasions. If people aren't wearing black to funerals as often anymore, maybe it's OK to wear white to a wedding these days. That is, as long as it is done tastefully.

In my opinion, there are two reasons a woman would choose to wear white to a wedding.

The first reason is that she considers herself more fashionable than traditional. If the white being worn is tastefully executed, then why not? Case in point, Pippa Middleton. She looked lovely at the royal wedding. Her dress was exquisite and she still managed to get a Facebook page dedicated to her "arse" because of the dress she wore.


The other reason a woman would choose to wear white is that she is a narcissistic cow who wants all eyes on her, who loves causing controversy and who may or may not really, actually like the bride. Case in point, Lindsay Lohan at Kim Kardashian's wedding. Three letters: W.T.F?

Now, I will never begrudge my friends, cousins or family members for being beautiful. However, I may grind my teeth slightly if one of them wore white to my wedding. I mean, come on. Even if the outfit were fashionable and classy, I would quietly let it rest as a teeny tiny chip on my shoulder for the rest of my life. I would think about it every time I saw this person and smile with a clenched jaw whenever we encountered each other. Call me petty.

But if one of my guests showed up wearing a white, low-plunging gown and looked as though she was purposely and desperately trying to overshadow me on my wedding day, I may have a seething Bridezilla moment. I'm talking confrontations at the church, pulling off my earrings, de-heeling and getting ready to go at her.

Showing up in a tasteless gown like this is a slap in the face to any bride. Not only does it reek of desperation, it is also purposely trying to steal the show on someone's big day. Jealousy can make us do stupid things, but trying to look more beautiful then the bride on her wedding day by showcasing your goods in a slinky white dress is not OK.

So let us all learn from the Pippas and Lindsays of the world. If we are going to break this tradition, let's do it in a way that makes us still look as though we have an ounce of common sense and respectability. We can still look good as guests at a wedding as long as we make sure to acknowledge the role the bride is supposed to play that day. She is, without a question, meant to be the most beautiful girl in the room.

 
Is it OK to wear white to a wedding? Maybe. Wearing white to a wedding has long been considered a slap in the face to the bride. It's her day, her colour. Considering the wide range of shades to choos...
Is it OK to wear white to a wedding? Maybe. Wearing white to a wedding has long been considered a slap in the face to the bride. It's her day, her colour. Considering the wide range of shades to choos...
 
 
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evecaren
Every cloud has a silver lining
08:47 AM on 10/23/2011
I wouldn't wear white to a wedding. The bride's dress is white. It's her special day.
Her beautiful white wedding gown should be the centre of attention. I think wearing a
white outfit to a wedding , however tasteful or modern, is not appropriate.
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writergal28
Writergal28 is a blogger and "petite activist" and
11:45 AM on 09/07/2011
To echo other replies here: Pippa wearing white is completely cultural. In Canada and the US, attendants, with the exception of, perhaps, the flower girl, do not wear white, while they do in the UK (especially traditional Royal weddings). Guests, however, should NOT.
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ArChiMi
Skeptic
05:31 PM on 09/04/2011
It is the choice of the bride if she wants guests or members of the wedding party to wear white. If she does not ask them, then it is rude.
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Gonzo36
Pro-awesome!
12:09 PM on 09/02/2011
Personally, I find it more strange that Lindsay wore the EXACT SAME DRESS as Pippa! No, not the white dress, but the green one she (Pippa) wore to the party. Why would Lindsay wear a dress that had already been seen by the world AND looked better on Pippa?
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emlr
"a man of knowledge is free"
11:37 AM on 09/05/2011
You're exactly right! How funny she would choose that dress.! Thanks for pointing that out.
http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20395222_20486184,00.html
11:20 AM on 09/02/2011
As long as its not overdone I wouldn't give a damn whether someone wore white at my wedding or not. If it was distastefully done, then I would just ignore it and not let it affect me or my special day. That would be giving that person to much importance.
As for the Pippa vs. Lindsey thing, I think its a bit of a stretch to compare the two. The sophistication, cultural importance, and type of people were all on vastly different levels for the weddings. While Lohan's dress is a bit hoochy, it fits the occasion. Pippa's was classy-ish, though I wasn't a big fan of the dress itself. Neither did anything wrong.
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cribbisque
10:20 PM on 09/01/2011
I don't understand the controversy about Pippa Middleton wearing what surely had been the choice of the bride for her atttendant. I remember Joy Behar blathering on about how improper it was, when she must have forgotten that Diana's attendants also wore the same color as her own gown... I thought the invitation I saw said "black tie" but I am not sure if dress for ladies was designated. What were the other guest wearing? But when can anyone accuse Lindsey of doing anything tasteful?
01:43 PM on 09/03/2011
People don't seem to understand that In the UK It Is tradition for the attendants to wear the same color as the bride. Look it up. Here In America we don't usually do that. As a GUEST you aren't suppose to wear white as it can take away from the bride. In this case the BRIDE Is the only one who is supposed to wear white. That's the difference.
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Cassandra45
"Let us do our best, even if it gets us nowhere."
04:54 PM on 09/01/2011
As I understood it, the Kardashian wedding invitation expressly asked everyone to wear black or white. So what if LL's dress was plunging? It's Hollywood, for pete's sake. If she'd shown up in red, then I'd say she was out of line.

PS. It's "trying to look more beautiful THAN the bride", not "then the bride." Spellcheck is not always your friend.
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Valerie Stachurski
follow on Twitter @ValTorontoGal
05:57 PM on 09/01/2011
The point was whether or not the white was worn tastefully, my dear, and I thank you for the grammar lesson :)
12:27 PM on 09/01/2011
Difference between Pippa and Lindsay??....the latter was a guest at the Kardashian wedding. My understanding was the guests were to wear either black or white, which Lindsay did. Were there any restrictions regarding the design or style of the dress? C'mon, this is Lindsay Lohan. Anything is possible--she's lowered the bar far too many times to expect anything different. As for Pippa... the bride, Kate Middleton, obviously knew what her sister/bridesmaid was going to wear design-wise as well as the color. Two completely different weddings and choices.
12:17 PM on 09/01/2011
I agree Lindsay's dress was gross...and low plunging...but the wedding invite apparently said to wear black or white...so she wasn't out of line wearing white....I'm just saying...oh GOD I just defended Lindsay Lohan