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Stop Whining Grandpa and Get Back to Work

Posted: 02/ 3/2012 2:35 am

Reaction to Stephen Harper's Davos announcement of coming changes to Old Age Security was predictable. "Poor old people" was the general tenor -- one day they're heading jauntily toward retirement at 65, but now, because of our emotionless jerk of a prime minister, they'll have to work an extra two years.

Well, boo hoo. Am I the only one unmoved by the "Won't someone think about the old people" cries? Because it seems to me that working an extra two years is the least old people and soon-to-be-old baby boomers can do for the rest of us.

Two years really isn't a long time. By the time you get to 65, years must pass by as quickly as days do for the typical 30-year-old. Those extra two years will be over in a jiffy -- old people will hardly notice the extra time at all.

Moreover, oldies have already been working for 40 years; they're used to the routine and it's my understanding that old people love sticking to routines -- that they turn into shriveled head cases when their daily schedules don't follow predictable patterns. So staying at work (combined with regular consumption of prunes) is actually the healthiest option for them.

Another point: People are living a lot longer these days. It's common for Canadians to live well into their 80s and 90s, so old folks'll have lots of time to make up for the hours of bridge, lawn bowling, and daytime TV-watching lost to two extra working years. The Young and the Restless will still be around, don't worry.

You think working till 67 is bad? Well, we're going to be working into our 80s at least, for lower salaries and with much worse health care and fewer government handouts. Every economic indicator says life is going to be a pantload harder for people now entering, or just entered into, the work force (if we can even find jobs in the first place).

All those times you told us about how everything you did -- the back-breaking work, going without fancy clothes and cars, etc. -- was so we could have a better future? Well, turns out the future's going to suck. Thanks for that.

I'd remind old folks that us younger people will be the ones taking care of your drooling shells as you inevitably fall victim to Father Time. Don't piss us off with your complaining, or we might just throw you in one of those nursing homes you made us swear we'd never send you to. Instead of leaving us in even bigger debt so you can have one of those stair-escalator contraptions in your house, why not save up the money with two years of extra work? Money doesn't grow on trees, you know.

You always tried to teach us about the value of work -- that working hard is its own reward, that it would keep us honest and make us better, smarter people. We listened to you, and now we're slaving away, often at jobs we can't stand and with people we loathe. Did you take work calls and answer work emails on the weekends? Didn't think so.

We're going to be corporate slaves for the next 50 years -- the least you can do is stay in your jobs for another 24 months before you start doing nothing for a living.

Your generation was taught to accept conventional wisdom, our generation has been trained to challenge it. We know that 65 is nothing more than an arbitrary number -- that it makes no more logical sense to retire at 65 than at 67, or 75. The world's changed -- nobody's buying your "I'm old and wiser than you" routine.

We know that we know more than you -- we've grown up in a world where all knowledge is available at the click of a mouse. The collective wisdom of the Internet trumps your meandering stories of personal hardships. We're the wise ones, not you.

So, old people, it's time to get up off the couch and make yourselves useful. No more free rides here.

 

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06:41 AM on 02/07/2012
No one seems to get IRONY any more. We need another "Modest Proposal"
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Planarama
Common sense will one day prevail.
07:32 PM on 02/06/2012
It's hard enough to find a job with the Boomers not retiring on time. Giving them two extra years to work is just further punishment for our youth. The Boomers are the most selfish generation in history.

Retire already and let my generation have some of the good jobs.
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Sofia Champion
The future is now.
11:35 AM on 02/06/2012
Why the hell is this guy still writing articles? They all suck.
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kori77
06:50 PM on 02/05/2012
Well sir, you can hitch an old horse to the plow, but you can't make him pull it. So what are you going to do about that...? Shoot him?
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JacksonJones
Absit iniuria verbis!
04:33 PM on 02/08/2012
It's Canada, so they'll prolly put the non-pulling oldster on an ice floe (plenty of those now that the arctic ice is breaking up wot with global warming and all) and let him take his chances on the high seas.
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Larry Mutter
05:01 PM on 02/05/2012
Irony aside,the next generation is in for a rough ride.Everything the Grandparents fought for is being taken away.Its up to the Grand kids to get out on the streets and get it back.
01:12 PM on 02/05/2012
Good ironic commentary. Of course, there won't be jobs available for old people, so it's starvation or defend the old age pension system.
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CarlyQ
Without followers, evil cannot spread.
11:18 AM on 02/05/2012
Hostility of the article aside, Yoni is correct in that the generations that follow the Baby Boomers will once again get the short end of the stick in old age.

The Baby Boomers, not really through any fault of their own but merely as a result of their numbers, will continue to drain the economy into old age. The size of their cohort will ensure their needs are met above all others (as they always have been), which means they will get their pensions until the bulk of them have passed on.

The following generations will pay for it through the nose - just as they always have due to the Boomers - although there will be none for them when it is their time to retire. I venture to say that the entire concept of "retirement" will be reshaped and/or eliminated altogether by that time, anyway.

Those who follow the Boomers will truly work up to their last breath, paying for the debts their elders left behind.

What is most aggravating about the whole situation, however, is the steadfast refusal by the older generations to even try to comprehend the very logical fear and anxiety their younger counterparts feel about their own futures.
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Phatbiker
Dentalfloss tycoon
01:59 PM on 02/05/2012
I have read that the next generation is going to cash in big time when it comes to inheritances, more so than any generation in history. The govt's new crime bill will cost the taxpayers more than old age pensions not to mention the billions wasted on the long gun registry. I think that there will always be a Govt safety net for poor seniors, we can't have them begging and starving in the street like India.
07:03 PM on 02/05/2012
PHATBIKER, I don't see it happening. Medical expenses for these long-living elderly will eat up many of their expenses; living longer also drains their savings (planning to live for 20 years but living 25 years radically changes the budget).

But more than that, the Baby Boomers are SELFISH: I really see a "you can't take it with you" attitude to new retirees I know, that they will spend all their money on themselves before leaving it to ANYONE. They will golf, and travel, and play sports, and go to restaurants and spas, and spend it all.

I think Gen X will be largely in favour of Euthanasia.
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kori77
08:14 PM on 02/05/2012
Oh, some of us not only comprehend, we feel even more fear and anxiety--on their behalf--than many of them do. I personally lie awake at night wondering what I can do on behalf of my (young adult) son to ensure he makes it through HIS old age. Maybe use half my monthly pension (if I live long enough to get it) to buy gold--for him--and spend the other half on Kraft dinner...?
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CarlyQ
Without followers, evil cannot spread.
11:15 PM on 02/05/2012
Your son is fortunate. I'm envious!
Dinsdale Pirahna
"lookin' out the 'ole in the wall"
02:05 AM on 02/25/2012
If I had a million dollars - I wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner.... but I WOULD eat Kraft dinner... with fancy ketchup on it...... Dijon Ketchup!
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DirkNeptune
I love raspberry pie, damn it.
11:18 AM on 02/05/2012
I'm sure the author means this to be somewhat of a spoof. His serious approach belies that though.

He should have been a bit more outrageous (or perhaps witty) so we know for certain that there is indeed a joke here to be let in on.
10:00 AM on 02/05/2012
I see, it's good to have more competition for jobs to drive down those wages to the slave level. Oh, and what of machines making people increasingly obsolete when it comes to their roles in production. I guess their job is to beg on the streets while the public investment in technology is pocketed by CEOs in their massive bonuses. No question of the peons benefiting from that investment.
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Phatbiker
Dentalfloss tycoon
11:52 PM on 02/04/2012
Geez, first genX wants us all to retire so they can have our old jobs and advance through the ranks, now they call us whinners because we don't want to work two more years. Make up your freaking minds!! Next they will want to "Logan's Run" us, two years after retirement we will have to report to the "sleepshop" to be euthanized.
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Bec DeCorbeau
Le langage de l'invisible est le silence
07:12 PM on 02/04/2012
A sunTV fan for sure!
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LauraNo
05:29 PM on 02/04/2012
Is this supposed to be funny? In any case I see a problem. If people work two years longer, that is two years a young person will be living off of mommy and daddy and not gaining experience. Not paying taxes or into their own pensions either.
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Tyler Austin
Women = people. Corperations ≠ people.
05:20 PM on 02/04/2012
Or we could put all the 65+ers in the army and use them to invade Iran. You know, either way.
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Larry Motuz
More prayers, fewer preyers.
04:28 PM on 02/04/2012
A problem I have with this 'axe' is the reality that socioeconomic factors like income group very much affect life expectancy. The poor die younger. Taking two years of OAS from a person who, actuarially, is expected to live five years is not the same as taking two years of income away from a person expected to live another 10 to 15 years, namely the higher income groups.

In short, an 'axe' won't do. An income adjusted program could get around that problem, but my feeling about the "Harper Government" :: somehow we've lost "Government of Canada" :: is that what hurts the poorest is ideologically ideal.
02:51 PM on 02/04/2012
Regarding the post in which it is referred that civil servants are in some way getting too much at retirement.

These “droves of civil servants” who are retiring at 55 are doing so under legally negotiated contracts.

The jobs and careers they are vacating are good paying jobs now left open for the next generation so that they can become tax paying wage earners in our society. These jobs will provide an income so that they may be able to purchase homes and goods and contribute to a sustainable society our Canadian economy.

These retirees after years of faithfully contributing their own monies to their pensions are retiring with the income and benefits that are legally owed to them. With their pensions and benefits they will for years to come pay additional taxes, purchase goods and services in Canada, contribute to a sustainable Canada.

Why is it being inferred they should feel guilty for working and contributing for the last 35 plus years? Why are some so diligently begrudging them of this?