I'm not an expert. I'm just a separated woman trying to shop for her toddler...and I've got to ask this question. What the hell are we teaching our kids?
Really.
This is not a post about gender roles. This is not a post about mass consumerism making Romero-type slow zombies out of our kids -- OK, maybe a little bit. This is a full blown rant about how messed up it is that we blitzkrieg market the institution of marriage to little girls without batting an eyelash, and then expect them to make sound decisions about sex, relationships and career later on in life as individuals.
Look, I get that some kids are maternal, paternal...nurturing. I understand the anthropological aspects of toys and how they can be amazing for social development. I get that there will always be a market for little dollies and playing house for both boys and girls. I know that at some point everyone fantasizes in varying degrees about finding their missing puzzle piece, and that may or may not involve putting a bath towel on your head and holding a curling brush as a bouquet as you envision the scene.
But do we have to reinforce it on a consumer level so early? Do we need toddlers to start thinking about what kind of wedding dresses they want? Aren't we past telling little girls that one of their dreams has to be marriage?
Click here to learn why this mom is asking marketing teams to leave her kids alone.
And let's clarify this before it gets murky. I personally think marriage (so long as everyone knows what they're getting into) is awesome. But I don't think it should be viewed as a prerequisite for having a fulfilling or successful life. That's what blows.
That and the fact that the 'till death do us part' marketing is vastly one-sided. When was the last time you saw a boy's toy in a tux? I'll give you a hint. It wasn't anything wedding related. I mean, it would be hilarious if every time they put out a boys toy they paired it with a random bride like they so often do with girls' toys and grooms, but nope, that doesn't seem to bring in the cash.
And what are the little boy protagonists of the now? Superheroes. OK, fine. I can handle that. But again with the one-sided positioning: girls don't get the message that it's OK to want to have a special, unique, skill. That it's cool to be deceptively strong and smart. That there is power in being different and special. That the world needs them to fulfil their destinies unless it's saying 'I do', riding side saddle, or getting a date to the prom. Hell, it's not OK for little girls to even want to be the awesome females on the same superhero continuum. Where is the big box retailer, kid-marketed Black Widow doll, Marvel? Where is Catwoman, DC?
Are you waiting until you design their wedding gowns? Finish the plastic moulds of their grooms?
Most importantly, why is my kid stuck looking at crap like this?
Why does she have to be given the message that she is no one unless she is part of a couple?
Luckily my kid is pretty unique. She sings Barbie princess songs with Ironman at bath time. She thinks that Spiderman is really pretty. She calls the Hulk 'Hulkie' and croons lovingly to pictures of him. She will put on a beautiful princess gown, play with her dinosaurs, and zoom around at warp speed, saying she can fly and that she's magic.
And I believe her.
Click here to learn why girls need role models with integrity.
I just don't want her to start thinking that she is somehow lacking because she's an incredible, strong, individual. I don't want her to start thinking that she is 'less than' because she doesn't have some guy in a tux giving her a context.
To be completely honest I don't know what's right. What's wrong. How much of marketing is reinforced with at home values or environment, or anything else.
But I do know I was seriously relieved to find this for her birthday.
And I hope I can teach her to take an invisible plane over a glass slipper any day.
Written By: Kat Inokai, Yummy Mummy Club
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1959: The original Wedding Day Barbie Doll and Ken Set
Re-released in 2009 to celebrate the doll's 50th anniversary, this iconic doll's sweetheart neckline and gloves perfectly reflect <strong><a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/planning/wedding-planning-basics/weddings-through-the-ages">the era's wedding-day style</a></strong>.
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo courtesy of Mattel</em></span>
1963: Barbie Wedding Bride’s Dream
Sweet and feminine, this short-sleeved gown with a ruffled skirt is topped off with a fur cape.
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-1963-1965-Barbie-Wedding-Bride-s-Dream-White-Satin-Set-with-Cape-/130864397034?pt=US_Dolls_Bears_Toys&hash=item1e78203aea" target="_blank">Ebay</a></strong></em></span>
1979: Wedding Belles
Looking hippie-chic with their bridesmaid and flower girl, Malibu Barbie and Ken tie the knot.<a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/fashion/wedding-dress-shopping-guide/boho-wedding-gowns"><b>Check out boho gowns for real brides</b></a>
<em style="font-size: 10px;">Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vintage-MOD-1979-SUN-LOVIN-MALIBU-BARBIE-KEN-PJ-SKIPPER-DOLL-in-WEDDING-PARTY-/330869293757?pt=US_Dolls_Bears_Toys&hash=item4d0958c2bd" target="_blank">Ebay</a></strong></em>
1989: Barbie Fantasy
With its oversized puffy sleeves and high neckline, this dress perfectly reflects '80s bridal fashion.
<em style="font-size: 10px;">Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/57417733@N02/5287639900/" target="_blank">Flickr</a></strong></em>
1992: Bob Mackie Empress Barbie
The details on this gown are just stunning! <a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/blogs/real-brides-speak-out/amazing-wedding-dresses">Check out amazing couture creations for real brides</a>
<span style="text-align: center; font-size: 10px;"><em>Photo via</em></span><strong><span style="font-size: 10px;"><em> <a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/bob-mackie-empress-bride-barbie-doll-04247" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></em></span></strong>
1995: Star Lily Bride Barbie
Part of a special collection dedicated to <a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/planning/wedding-reception/complete-guide-to-wedding-flowers"><b>wedding flowers</b></a>, this Barbie's gown features floral detailing, and she carries a beautiful bouquet of lilies.
<em style="font-size: 10px;">Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/star-lily-bride-barbie-doll-12953" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></strong></em>
1996: Romantic Rose Bride Barbie
From her rosette crown to the hem of her billowing skirt, this bride is covered in her namesake flower.
<span style="font-size: 10px;"><em>Photo via</em></span><strong><span style="font-size: 10px;"><em> <a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/romantic-rose-bride-barbie-doll-14541" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></em></span></strong>
1997: Blushing Orchid Bride Barbie
Another bride from the Wedding Flowers Collection, we love how the lace on her skirt resembles flower petals.
<span style="font-size: 10px;"><em>Photo via</em></span><strong><span style="font-size: 10px;"><em> <a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/blushing-orchid-bride-barbie-doll-16962" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></em></span></strong>
2000: Millennium Wedding Bride Barbie
Barbie kicks off the new millennium in style with a <a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/photo-galleries/bridal-gowns/search?_retailer=All&_fabric=All&_silhouette=Ballgown&_hem=All&_neckline=Strapless&_price_range=All"><b>strapless princess ballgown</b></a>.
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/millennium-wedding-barbie-doll-27765" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></strong></em></span>
2000: Elizabeth Taylor in 'Father of the Bride'
Part of a collection celebrating the screen legend, this doll wears a replica of Taylor's beautiful wedding gown from the hit film.
<em style="font-size: 10px; text-align: center;">Photo via </em><strong style="font-size: 10px; text-align: center;"><em><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/elizabeth-taylor-father-bride-26836" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></em></strong>
2001: Romantic Wedding Barbie
A whimsical princess gown with embroidered flowers on the bodice and a floral pattern on the skirt. <span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/romantic-wedding-barbie-doll-29438" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></strong></em></span>
2002: Maria Therese
With a sheer bateau neckline and full skirt, this Barbie exudes elegance.<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/maria-therese-barbie-55496" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></strong></em></span>
2002: Sophisticated Wedding Barbie
Slim-cut with a dramatic jacquard train, this dress is a welcome departure from Barbie's typical princess-style wedding dress.<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/sophisticated-wedding-barbie-doll-53370" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></strong></em></span>
2004: Badgley Mischka Bride Barbie
Fashion-forward with a bit of a <strong><a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/fashion/wedding-dress-shopping-guide/great-gatsby-wedding-gowns">Gatsby vibe</a></strong>, the illusion top covered in iridescent beading and rhinestones is complemented by a simple organza-covered satin skirt.<strong><a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/photo-galleries/bridal-gowns/badgley-mischka/style-abigail">Browse Badgley Mischka gowns for real brides</a></strong>
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <a href="http://www.ebay.com/itm/Badgley-Mischka-Gold-Label-Barbie-2004-11-1-2-NRFB-w-Shipper-/330877929018?pt=US_Dolls_Bears_Toys&hash=item4d09dc863a" target="_blank"><strong>Ebay</strong></a></em></span>
2004: David's Bridal Unforgettable Barbie
David's Bridal's first wedding-day Barbie features a Basque-waist dress with a sparkly tulle skirt, elbow-length gloves, and a sweet rose bouquet.<strong><a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/photo-galleries/bridal-gowns/davids-bridal/davids-bridal-collection-style-v3469">Browse David's Bridal gowns for real brides</a></strong>
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/davids-bridal-unforgettable-barbie-doll-g2889" target="_blank"><strong>Barbie Collector</strong></a></em></span>
2005: Carolina Herrera Bride Barbie
The famed designer created an elegant all-over lace gown for her signature wedding-day Barbie.<strong><a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/photo-galleries/bridal-gowns/carolina-herrera/style-9134">Browse Carolina Herrera gowns for real brides</a></strong>
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/carolina-herrera-bride-barbie-doll-0" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></strong></em></span>
2005: David's Bridal Perfect Pair Tommy and Kelly
David's Bridal added an adorable ring bearer and flower girl, complete with a ring pillow and a basket of petals! <strong><a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/planning/wedding-ceremony-traditions/flower-girls-ring-bearers">Check out the 15 cutest child attendants in real weddings</a></strong>.
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/perfect-pair-tommy-doll-and-kelly-doll-h7548" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></strong></em></span>
2005: David's Bridal Eternal Barbie
David's Bridal's second Barbie style features a glittery top with a satin skirt.<strong><a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/photo-galleries/bridal-gowns/davids-bridal/davids-bridal-collection-style-v3469">Browse David's Bridal gowns for real brides</a></strong>
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/david-s-bridal-eternal-barbie174-doll-1" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></strong></em></span>
2006: David's Bridal Romance Barbie
The last of David's Bridal's wedding-day Barbies, this gown was inspired by one of the most popular styles that year.<strong><a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/photo-galleries/bridal-gowns/davids-bridal/davids-bridal-collection-style-v3469">Browse David's Bridal gowns for real brides</a></strong>
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/romance-barbie-doll-k7943" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></strong></em></span>
2006: Monique Lhuillier Bride Barbie
Known for her romantic wedding gowns, Lhuiller's Barbie version is no different. The lace bodice with a tulle skirt is accentuated by an oversized sash.<strong><a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/photo-galleries/bridal-gowns/monique-lhuillier/style-angelic">Browse Monique Lhuillier gowns for real brides</a></strong>
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/monique-lhuillier-bride-barbie-doll-0" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></strong></em></span>
2006: Couture Confection Bride Barbie
A <a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/blogs/real-brides-speak-out/amazing-wedding-dresses"><b>fantasy wedding gown</a></b> designed by Bob Mackie (best known for outfitting divas like Diana Ross and Cher), this sparkly floral gown is topped with a dramatic veil.
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/couture-confection-bride-barbie-doll-j0981" target="_blank"><strong>Barbie Collector</strong></a></em></span>
2007: Reem Acra Bride Barbie
We love the pearl details on this gorgeous train! <strong><a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/photo-galleries/bridal-gowns/reem-acra/look-1">Browse Reem Acra gowns for real brides</a></strong>
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/reem-acra-bride-barbie-doll-l3549" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></strong></em></span>
2008: Elvis and Priscilla Presley Barbies
The King and his beautiful bride are commemorated in these lookalike dolls.
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.barbiecollector.com/shop/doll/elvis-and-priscilla-barbie-doll-and-elvis-doll-giftset-l9632" target="_blank">Barbie Collector</a></strong></em></span>
2011 Vera Wang Bride: The Traditionalist
This luxurious dress, based on the designer's "Dovima" gown, features a watercolor pattern on the skirt. <strong><a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/photo-galleries/bridal-gowns/vera-wang/look-1">Browse Vera Wang gowns for real brides</a></strong>
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo via <strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/2011-Vera-Traditionalist-Bride-Barbie/dp/B004JXX01K/ref=pd_sim_sbs_t_3" target="_blank">Amazon</a></strong></em></span>
2011: Grace Kelly Bride Barbie
Specially-sculpted to resemble the princess, this beautiful doll wears a gorgeous replica of Grace Kelly's iconic gown from her 1956 wedding to Prince Rainier of Monaco.
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo courtesy of Mattel</em></span>
2012: Twilight's Bella and Edward Cullen
Following the release of <em>Twilight: Breaking Dawn</em>, Mattel <strong><a href="http://www.bridalguide.com/blogs/bridal-buzz/twilight-breaking-dawn-barbie-dolls">released Bella and Edward dolls</a></strong> in their wedding-day attire.
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo courtesy of Mattel</em></span>
2012: William & Catherine Royal Wedding Giftset
In honor of the Prince and Duchess's first anniversary, Mattel released <a href=-"http://www.bridalguide.com/blogs/bridal-buzz/prince-william-kate-middleton-barbies"><b>wedding-day replicas</b></a> of the couple.
<span style="font-size:10px;"><em>Photo courtesy of Mattel</em></span>
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I have to say, though, that this is the first article I've read from this blog because the name 'yummy mummy' has caused me to make some assumptions. Your take on this part gender stereotyping is not what I expected from a blog of that name. Kudos to you!