I'm a hoverer. I admit it. I'm coming out of the closet. I'm getting a T-shirt made. In this free-range age, being called a helicopter parent is anything but a compliment. In fact, it seems like supervising your kids and trying to keep them safe and secure is something to be ashamed of. But I'm not. Not at all.
And it's not because I live in the Bronx, either. I live on a leafy street where the neighbours know each other's kids by name. Michael Moore famously found doors unlocked on this side of the border. But I'm not complacent. I like the err on the side of caution whenever possible. The playground at the end of my street is set into a ravine. A runner's and dog walker's paradise, the park quickly became a helicopter mom's nightmare the other week. Let me paint the scene: an unaccompanied woman was lifting a boy off the slide when his distracted older sibling ran over.
Police descended on the park in minutes. But of course the woman had fled. Last year it was a creepy man with no kids of his own hanging around the playground. I'm not paranoid or deluded enough to think that everyone out there is an abductor --or pedophile-in-waiting. Still, it makes me break out in a cold sweat when I see kids running around with no visible guardian. For various reasons.
Click here to read why this mom thinks we should let our kids be kids.
In the blink of an eye, a child could slip into the ravine and drown. Before you roll your eyes, consider this. Life and death are close cousins. I vividly remember a close encounter in a busy public pool once upon a summer. The lifeguards were busy being narcissistic teens. My cousin, meanwhile, was slipping under somewhere just before the deep end. My aunt, who was knitting at the time, happened to glance up. I will never forget the image of her diving into the water fully clothed--sandals, sunglasses, long skirt -- and saving her daughter.
Kids are our most precious commodity. We say this, yet we take their well-being so lightly sometimes. The line between fostering independence and ensuring safety is often dangerously blurred today, no thanks to this Manhattan mom. Yes, in our day we ran around like feral cats till dusk. But these are different times, and I fear that many parents are missing the point and failing to strike the right balance. Like the dad who conveniently dropped his kids off at the park while he headed to the gym and a spot of shopping. For two hours.
Click here to learn how to raise fearless kids.
Maybe I will relax (a bit) as I get older and my son gets wiser. Who knows. For now, though, I will continue to hover. For my son's sake and mine. All it takes is one split-second judgment call, one turned head, one slip of his foothold. I don't know about you, but I don't fancy the emergency room guilt trip over a fall that could have been avoided with a little vigilance.
I will continue to encourage him to be active and to try new things, but I will be there to catch him when it doesn't quite work out. After all, every acrobat gains skills and confidence from knowing there is a security net.
Written By: Julie M Green, Yummy Mummy Club
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You won't be happy with your decision when your kids are battling anxiety in university because they've never been through any struggles or had to overcome adversity, and you may further kick yourself when they're 35 years old and living in your basement since they have no coping skills.
Kids don't grow into coping skills. They learn them by parents slowly releasing the levers of control and letting kids safely learn how to deal with this sometimes hard, cruel, and unforgiving world.
Just to share a different perspective.
The parents who raise their kids in a balanced environment where trust, support and intelligence are everpresent, end up producing adults who are not fearless, but who know how to manage fear in the best ways possible. And they end up becoming that very small minority in society who become the innovators and leaders who do great things.
If you are the latter, you can't speak of balance, because the two are antithetical.
*H.P.'s turn into enemy hunters; therefore EVERYONE is suspect. Teachers, doctors, employers, and neighbours are out to get your kid --- Lo! paranoia!
Know the diff. between Helicoptering and "free- range parenting".
Good Luck.
No, actually, that's exactly what you are, hence why you're a helicopter parent.