09/29/2011 03:05 EDT | Updated 11/29/2011 05:12 EST

Should You Be Friends With An Ex On Facebook?


Texting and social media are so woven into the fabric of our lives it's nearly impossible to imagine what we did without them. And while texting and Facebooking make it easier and more convenient for us to keep up with our social circles, it also makes it easier for us to misbehave.

How many of us have looked up an ex on Facebook? How many have sent a message, poke or friend request and checked in frequently to see their response? How many have done so without saying anything to their current partner? That's not to suggest any of this is necessarily wrong, but it does pose the question: Has social media and texting blurred the lines between right and wrong in relationships, particularly where exes are concerned?

That's a question that was recently asked by the QMI Agency for a sex survey published in The Calgary Sun. According to the study's findings, 45 per cent of us are happy to be contacted by an ex on Facebook, and yet the vast majority of us would be angry if our partner befriended their ex. In other words, we're hypocrites. Study responders felt meeting up with someone you've contacted online -- and dated -- is cheating. Additionally, 35 per cent think exchanging photos equals infidelity and 25 per cent say texting goes against relationship rules.

It's no secret social media is known as a a relationship wrecker -- lawyers now claim Facebook is mentioned in 20 per cent of divorce petitions. “Being in communication with an ex is opening the door to suggestive emails and cheating. It might not happen, but some people just don’t want that door open at all -- and that’s a fair point," relationship expert Laurie Puhn tells The Sun

Still, cheating is subjective and it depends on the couple. “For some couples. cheating is emailing with an ex. For others, it’s having drinks with an ex. Find out the line in your own relationship,” adds Puhn.

And, no matter what, don't let your virtual friendships get in the way of your real-life relationships. “The Internet is so enticing -- the world is open to you and you can be whoever you want on Facebook -- that people put it ahead of couple time and family time,” says Puhn.