While Toronto Mayor Rob Ford was busy (allegedly) smoking crack, Vancouver Mayor Gregor Robertson was smoking something a little more, well, legal.
An article entitled 'BREAKING - Police recover video of Vancouver Mayor smoking what appears to be salmon,' in satire publication The Beaverton pokes fun at the RoFo scandal while simultaneously reminding everyone how awesome GreRo (we know that's not going to stick) is. The Nov. 4 article "reports" that Vancouver Police Chief Jim Chu made an announcement that after a "thorough investigation," he thinks "it’s fair to say that Mr. Robertson is in the video, the contents of which... I can only say that it appears he is smoking some kind of animal product, possibly fish."
Here is the full (hilarious) text. Story continues below:
VANCOUVER - Following months of speculation, Vancouver Police Chief Jim Chu held a press conference today where he confirmed the existence of a cell phone video taken months ago, on which Vancouver Mayor, Gregor Robertson, appears to be smoking Pacific salmon.
“Through a thorough investigation, we have been able to recover two videos which are consistent with previous reports in the media… I think it’s fair to say that Mr. Robertson is in the video, the contents of which... I can only say that it appears he is smoking some kind of animal product, possibly fish,” said Chu.
The mayor held a very brief press conference outside of his office, where he stated that the police should “release the tape and let the people decide for themselves. Maybe they’ll realize I was only smoking halibut, or possibly a light sea bass.”
The revelation has caused a stir within the city public. Chu said that no criminal charges will be made at this time, but did add that he was, “disappointed.”
“I thought he was more of a grilled salmon guy.”
Of course, the people of Twitter scooped the article up instantly. Dustin Fuhs congratulated Robertson on smoking "something that actually helps you gain votes":
And The Buffalo Wool Co. joked that we "crazy Canadians" were caught "smoking the funny stuff."
Check out the best tweets:
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