11/13/2013 12:18 EST | Updated 11/20/2013 09:12 EST

Black Friday Deals Come To Canada In Bid To Import U.S. Insanity

Black Friday shopping deals have long been an excuse for Americans to gather in malls and big box stores the day after Thanksgiving and act completely insane. Now, that insanity is creeping across the border.

In 2013, malls across Canada will open early on Nov. 29 in a bid to keep consumers from crossing the border and to encourage the sort of mass-shopping hysteria that American retailers have grown to depend on.

Here's why that's a terrible idea.

  • Canada Is Supposed To Be About...
  • Peace
  • Order
  • And (Mostly) Good Government
  • This Is Not Supposed To Happen
    Toronto Star
  • Here Are Some Reasons Why
    James Van Der Memes
  • This
  • And This
  • We Have Our Own Pastimes
  • They Don't Include GTA VI - Walmart Wars
  • Or Walmart Jumanji + Guns
  • We're Not Kidding About The Guns
    ABC News
  • Americans Will Do Almost Anything For A $250 TV
    The Huffington Post
  • Canadians Don't "Pre-Load" Shopping Carts
  • And We Know The Deals Aren't Even That Good
  • We Would Rather Go Commando Than Endure This
    Sarah Cornish/Twitter
  • And Frankly, Our Police Have Better Things To Do
  • Instead Of Doing This
  • They Would Rather Do This
  • And, Sadly, This
    Toronto Police
    Toronto Mayor Rob Ford urinates on a tree in a police surveillance image.
  • But Seriously Canada, WE DON'T NEED THIS
  • Let's Not Lose Our Heads (Or Hair)
  • And Make Walmart Look Like This On Nov. 29

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