01/08/2014 05:20 EST | Updated 03/10/2014 05:59 EDT

Meredith Katharine Borowiec, Mother Who Threw Babies In Garbage, Says She Feels Horrible

CALGARY - A Calgary mother who tossed three of her newborn children into the garbage says she feels "horrible" about what she did.

Meredith Borowiec told a sentencing hearing Wednesday that she accepts what she has done and will have to live with it for the rest of her life.

"It hurts me every day knowing what I have done," said Borowiec, reading quickly from a statement.

"I have accepted what has happened and feel horrible about it all. I don't think I can express in words how sorry I am."

Borowiec, 32, gave birth to infants in 2008 and 2009 and their bodies were never found.

A third child born in 2010 survived when the baby's father unknowingly helped pull the baby out of the trash after a passerby heard a cry.

An officer testified at her trial that Borowiec was sitting outside watching what was going on and he thought she might be the baby's mother when he saw blood on a blanket by the woman's leg and on her coat sleeve.

The Crown wants Borowiec to spend another eight to nine years behind bars on two counts of infanticide and one count of aggravated assault.

"There are two babies who are dead that will never have the opportunity to partake in any of life's pleasures," said Crown Prosecutor Jayme Williams.

"They lived a brief existence, wrapped in a garbage bag, thrown in a Dumpster and there is a third who lived because of good fortune."

But the defence argued that Borowiec has already spent 18 months behind bars and that's enough.

"There's every indication that her remorse is sincere and genuine," argued lawyer Andrea Serink.

Serink said Borowiec is "motivated" to seek further treatment and her treatment of her infants was more "passive" than "actual physical violence."

She suggested Borowiec sign a 15-year peace bond in which she would agree to be checked for pregnancy every six months so Social Services could monitor her if she ever gets pregnant again.

She said Borowiec wasn't yet willing to give up her ability to have children, although that had been initially considered after her arrest.

Court of Queen's Bench Justice Peter McIntyre has reserved his decision until Jan. 29. He ruled at Borowiec's trial in November that she was not in her right mind when she put the two infants in a garbage bin.

In interviews with police, Borowiec admitted she heard the babies cry before she put them in trash bags and dropped them into garbage bins, but denied doing anything to hurt them before she disposed of them.

Court heard she had her first child in 2008 and didn't even look to see whether it was a boy or a girl before she wrapped the infant in a towel and put it in a garbage bag.

Borowiec admitted to a similar scenario in 2009 when she again gave birth into a toilet in her northwest Calgary apartment, wrapped the child in a towel and dropped it into the bathroom garbage before walking out to a Dumpster and disposing of it.

In a lengthy video interview with police after her arrest in November 2011, Borowiec said she heard a noise "like a kitten'' after the birth of the first child and, the following year, was aware the second child was alive as well.

"It was a tiny cry,'' a tearful Borowiec said in the video as she described the noise coming from the toilet.

"It was like something took over me. It was like I wasn't in control,'' she said.

"I wasn't normal.''

Borowiec also told police that she kept her pregnancies secret from co-workers by telling them she appeared pregnant because she had cysts on her uterus. Shen also said her boyfriend was unaware that she was pregnant either before or after the births.

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