01/17/2014 21:14 EST | Updated 03/19/2014 05:59 EDT

Vigil for murdered Surrey hockey mom Julie Paskall on Saturday

Hundreds are expected to attend a candlelight vigil in Holland Park on Saturday night for Julie Paskall, the hockey mom who was killed near Newton Arena in Surrey nearly three weeks ago.

It's going to be a very public event for a family that likes to keep things private. Al Paskall, who has been busy planning the memorial and a private funeral while grieving the loss of his wife, says he wonders what's happening to the world.

"We used to respect and love each other and take care of each other. I don't know what's happened. It's not the world I once knew. You always read about it in the paper and think it's never you. And it's not you. And then it is you."

Paskall says the community has got to get together and look at itself.

"What's going on here that we have to beat some poor defenceless woman for some money. I'm in utter turmoil and I'm not sure what to do, but it's not gong to bring my wife back or help my family, who really needs the help right now."

All the public attention has made it hard for the family to grieve privately — one reason Paskall says he's holding a public event.

"We're having this event here so we can have our own private one and hopefully be able to grieve a little bit privately and try to move on with our lives if we can."

Paskall also has a message for the killer, who is still at large.

"You should have enough guts to turn yourself in. I don't think running is gonna help you any."