As the Games begin, it's anywhere from 8 a.m. to 11 a.m. here in Canada — but why should that keep us from drinking? Or at least, thinking about drinking.
Below, we've compiled rules for a homemade drinking game. Are they based on Russian stereotypes? Why yes, they are. Much like how the Vancouver 2010 opening ceremonies proved to the world that Canadians really are all bearded lumberjacks who spout spoken word, opening ceremonies have a tendency to rely on what the world already knows about the host country for its demonstrations.
Of course, we kid, but that doesn't mean we don't have certain expectations about what these opening ceremonies will bring over the next, oh, four hours or so.
A warning: your boss may frown on you boozing at 11 a.m. Or at all, while working. So if any of these symbols appear throughout the Olympics over the next two weeks, feel free to use them as a guide then too.
1. One shot for every matryoshka doll shown - and yes, that includes the baby one in the centre.
2. One shot for every bear that appears on screen. Warning: this could prove dangerous.
3. One shot for any reference to Tolstoy or Chekhov. Statues, quotes, what have you, the men deserve a drink.
4. If there is any display of drinking vodka at all, you have to drink the same amount as shown.
5. One shot for ballet pointe dancing that goes on for longer than 20 seconds. Two shots for jumps that defy gravity. Three shots for same sex dancers dancing together because ... well, you know.
6. A sip per fur hat. We're being careful with this one.
7. A shot per supermodel. Natalia Vodianova, Anastasia Kuznetsova, Anna Kournikova, etc.
8. Two words. Space program. Let's give two shots for any latter day boasting on that front.
9. If anyone emerges from a Fabergé egg, you drink your whole freaking drink.
Are you all nice and toasted now? Let the Games begin!
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