02/21/2014 03:48 EST | Updated 02/21/2014 05:59 EST

This Is How You Crush American Dreams

This, friends, is how you crush the dreams of the United States of America.

Jamie Benn's second period goal in the men's hockey semifinal Friday was pretty much unsaveable. In Canada, unsaveable is our specialty -- oh, and a delicious soup made from the tears of vanquished Americans.

Bring on the gold medal game.

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