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05/31/2014 10:04 EDT | Updated 05/31/2014 10:59 EDT

'Orphan Black' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: Family Day Dysfunction

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*** SPOILER ALERT: Please do not read on unless you've seen "Orphan Black" Season 2, Episode 7, titled "Knowledge Of Causes, And Secret Motion Of Things." (Unless you like spoilers, then go right ahead.) ***

Oh Donnie, Donnie, Donnie. What have you done?! I will admit that it was a bit of a relief to know that Donnie is, in fact, innocent of everything Alison accused him of. He's not a monitor, but instead a patsy of Dr. Leekie's manipulation. Unfortunately for Donnie, he's now a murderer of the very man who started the whole thing, and he's also (rather brusquely) been made aware of the clones. It's fair to say that his world has been rocked, and we have yet another person intertwined with this whole mess, albeit in a different way than we had imagined.

In this "Orphan Black" episode, people run off their mouths, revealing secrets and things they shouldn't, causing events to cascade at a rapid pace. In the most innocuous place you can imagine -- a frikkin' crafts table covered in glitter and stickers and pastels in a rehab centre -- Alison admits to Vic that she watched Aynsley die and didn't do anything to stop it. Witnessing Michael Mando's eyes grow wider and wider is a particular treat; I was waiting for his eyeballs to fall out of their sockets. Alison looks (and I suppose is, to some degree) absolutely bonkers, especially when she offers Vic the four-fingered glove. Take note, Etsy folks! But then Vic, in turn, partially spills the beans to Angie over the phone and Alison overhears. Busted, dude.

Of course Alison immediately calls Felix (hooray!), who goes to the rehab centre to help her confront Vic. They ply him with talk of Sarah -- a smart move by Felix -- and they agree to arrange a sit-down of sorts with her. All of this is happening on Family Day, which makes it all the more hilarious. Talk about dysfunction! Before Sarah can go to the rehab centre, though, she has to take care of pesky Cal and Kira, who are really just inconveniences at this point. The plot grinds to a dead halt as we venture back to Cal's trailer, which is starting to become synonymous with boredom. OK, someone's watching Cal through his laptop, Kira's having nightmares, blah blah blah. No, Cal, Sarah and Kira are not going to move to Reykjavik with you. Don't be ridiculous! Let's get back to the fun stuff, shall we?

The "atonement" scene at the rehab centre is one of the funniest "Orphan Black" scenes to date. (In retrospect, I think Mando, Jordan Gavaris and Tatiana Maslany are all students of improv acting, so I wonder how much of this was off-the-cuff. At the end of the scene, I spied Gavaris holding in a laugh.) Vic, unsurprisingly, declares his undying love for Sarah, who is justly horrified. But then boom! Face-first into the craft table. I sincerely hope that was a body double or a dummy, because it looked painful. Like, really painful. Then we're treated to about 10 minutes of glorious slapstick, as Alison and Felix try to move around Vic's limp bag-of-cement body while dodging Angie, who uselessly roams the halls searching for them. I could gripe about the incredibly lax security at this rehab facility, but why bother? Nearly every place on "Orphan Black" is easily penetrable, even Dyad.

Occurring simultaneously with the slapstick is the role-playing scene with Sarah and Donnie. With Donnie as Alison and Sarah pretending to be Alison pretending to be Donnie, the role playing is basically what Maslany does every time she steps on the "Orphan Black" set. Can anyone argue against Maslany winning all the awards for this season? I mean, it's just ridiculous. My heart was pounding the whole time -- would they find out that she's not Alison? What would happen if Sarah was exposed? Suspense was high, and kudos to the cast because it didn't for one minute feel contrived.

While all this is happening at the rehab centre, Cosima is receiving stem cell treatments for her illness. In a rather graphic scene, we witness her getting injections into her uterus, including a lovely close-up of the tumours growing there. Going along with the recurring theme of this episode, Delphine and the science guy argue aloud about using Kira's stem cells and keeping it secret from Cosima, and of course Cosima overhears. She loses it -- the first time we've ever really seen her out of control -- but Delphine makes her realize that Kira's the only way she's ever going to get better. There's no other option. Cosima still kicks her out anyway, and not a moment too soon. Spare us the awkward, clunky dialogue!

All of the characters (and us too) realize that Leekie is the true villain; he's been manipulating everyone, even Rachel, the entire time. When Mrs. S. and Sarah vow to "blow up their shit," they do it in true fashion. By arranging a teary meet-up between Rachal and Ethan/Andrew (Rachel's father), they essentially dissolve a lifetime of lies for Rachel, who confronts Leekie and "spares" his life. It's an interesting question as to whether she was really going to spare him or not, but we may never know. Even though I predicted Leekie's death several episodes ago, it should have been made clear to all of you when we were introduced to Michelle Forbes' character, Marian Bowles, that Leekie was going to go. I shall call it henceforth villain displacement. She one-ups (well actually four- or five-ups) Leekie's evilness with her white, crisp suit, stern face, angry phone calling, Lincoln Towncar and razor-sharp jawline, and for any "Battlestar Galactica" fans out there, Forbes' heartless sashay into Leekie's office probably thrilled you as much as it thrilled me. Forbes plays the baddie so well it's almost intoxicating. More, please! I'm also dying to know what Rachel is going to do now. Who will she side with?

Cosima desperately calls Sarah for help -- she needs another tooth from Kira. And bless her little heart, (after overhearing Sarah) she ties a string to the camper door and yanks one out, claiming "it was loose anyway." The blood in her mouth says otherwise, showing that damn, Kira is hardcore just like her mother. Pulled tooth, splattered brains, glitter everywhere. "Orphan Black" is on a tear towards the end of Season 2. Prepare for something big next week, folks. It's coming.

The Golden Clone:(I'll be awarding the best clone of the week) This week is Sarah's week. Aside from having to play Alison as Donnie, she had to deal with Vic, Mrs. S., Leekie, Rachel and Cosima, not to mention Kira and Cal. That's a lot of juggling, and she comes out on top.

Random Thoughts:

  • I like to consider myself a modest person, but Leekie's dead. I called it.
  • Can I get a cheer for Michael Mando and Kristian Bruun? These guys knocked it out of the park this week. A lot of critics rag on the supporting actors of "Orphan Black," but Bruun's face transitioning from helpless pleading to absolute darkness was arguably some of the finest acting I've seen on this show to date.
  • Alison to Sarah: "This is your fault! Your finks and rats and snitches and fuzz!"
  • What's on Ethan/Andrew's three black disks? Anyone care? Anyone? We wasted five minutes of precious airtime looking for that red box they were in, so whatever's in there has to be good.
  • Alison on going to prison: "In the shower, if they touch me, I will CUT them."
  • Oh, Cal. I'm torn about you. Though I will say (again) it's nice to have a male character be used for sex and babysitting for a change. When he asked Sarah to move away with him, I could just picture that gender role reversal. I love this show.
  • Felix: "Sweet Jesus, I am done with glitter."
  • No Helena this week. Too bad. At least last week was a virtual Helena orgasm. I do find it jarring that no one is concerned with her whereabouts, especially someone as volatile as Helena. Also, where was Art? Probably taking more pictures somewhere.
  • Donnie: "Honey, can you pass my nametag?" "Honey? Pass my nametag?"
  • Michelle Forbes, please be in everything ever. Missed you.

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