Nicole Scherzinger revealed a very painful and difficult phase in her life to the British edition of Cosmopolitan this week: her battle with bulimia while lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls.
"I had started losing my voice, I couldn't sing at shows, and then I remember my manager finding me passed out on the floor in Malta or in the south of France," she told the publication, as reported by The Independent. "I thought, 'I'm going to lose everything I love if I don't love myself.' One day you feel like you've reach the end, you just say, 'I'm not doing this anymore.' It's sad to see how I wasted my life. I had such a great life on the outside, the Dolls were on top of the world but I was miserable on the inside. I'm never letting that happen again; you only get one life -- I was 27 only once."
Scherzinger said she didn't think her friends or family knew of her illness as she wasn't suffering from a dramatic change in her weight. "I knew it wasn't normal or healthy because I was hurting myself through this cycle of disordered eating," she said. "It was my drug, my addiction. It's an endless vicious cycle."
The singer also said she can still well up in tears when she thinks about her battle with bulimia but knows recovery is possible. "It's such a horrible paralyzing disease and it was such a dark time for me," she said. "That's why I can empathize so much with people who have demons and voices in their heads, who aren't nice to themselves. It robs you of living your life."
Scherzinger, who just turned 36 this week, is in the early stages of promoting a new as-yet untitled solo album, the follow-up to her 2011 debut "Killer Love." The singer released a new single earlier this year entitled "Your Love."