Writing a hold-up note on her resumé wasn't such a hot idea either.
"At the risk of some understatement, those actions might be described as ill-considered," Judge Ted Gouge wrote in sentencing the 28-year-old.
Gouge gave Miller a total of 111 days for a crime spree that included the foiled robbery of the smoothie store in July 2014 and culminated in the theft of $5.97 worth of costume jewellery from Walmart in May 2015.
'It kind of looked a little bit fake'
According to the reasons for judgement, Miller entered the smoothie store wearing large, dark sunglasses and hair extensions.
"She had in her hand a plastic toy pistol," Gouge wrote.
She ordered a smoothie and gave the teenage cashier a note which read:
GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY
B4 I SHOOT EVERYONE.'
Maho Nakamura was working the till. The 15-year-old says she was "kind of shocked." But then she took a closer look at the weapon.
"In a way, it kind of looked a little bit fake," she said by phone. "So then I stood there telling her, 'No.'"
That's when Nakamura's mother emerged from the kitchen. A brief altercation ensued.
"Ms. Miller fled the scene, taking the 'gun' and the note with her," Gouge wrote.
Police later found the note in a trash bin: "the obverse of the document bore Ms. Miller's typewritten curriculum vitae."
"It was written on a resumé, and I was wondering: 'What is she doing?'," said Nakamura.
"There was a picture and it had her name, her address and her work skills."
That was last July. In May, while on bail and awaiting sentencing, Miller stole the costume jewellery.
Despite the hapless nature of her offences, Crown counsel still sought a two-year attempted robbery sentence for the mother of two, who struggles with cocaine abuse.
Gouged noted the trauma that can result in victims with the use of a real firearm — or reasonable facsimile.
"There was no such risk in this case," he wrote.
"Neither the cashier nor the owner thought for a moment that the object in Ms. Miller's hand was anything other than a toy."
Miller was released as she had already spent the length of her sentence in pre-trial custody. She was also given three years probation.
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