A breakup is tough to deal with at any time of year, but in February, when everyone’s posting smug Instagram photos of their Valentine’s Day gifts, it’s even harder. And now that we’ve all got multiple ways to air out our post-breakup dirty laundry to our entire friend feed — and to keep electronic tabs on our ex, not that we’d ever do that — the grieving process can seem even more long and fraught.
But it is a grieving process, and that means both that it’ll suck and that you have to move through it. Nobody here is pretending that dealing with a breakup is easy, but you can get through it and come out on the other side in better shape than you started. And while there are plenty of downsides to the end of a relationship, the good news is that it gives you the opportunity to take more time for yourself, to reconnect with friends and family, to really focus on work, and to put some real thought into what you want in life.
If nothing else, a breakup is a good way to learn to accept the overall uncertainty of life, because chances are you’re left with questions about the relationship that you just can’t answer. That’s okay, says Tamarisk Saunders-Davies, a psychotherapist and life coach. “All you can do is look at yourself, take everything you learned from the situation and close the door behind you as you leave the past in the past,” she says.
You can get to that zen post-breakup point, even if it seems impossible in the early days of heartbreak. Follow these 11 tips to get over a breakup and soon you’ll be back to your old — or an even better, improved — self again.