GLACE BAY, N.S. — A Cape Breton man has written his own obituary, posthumously declaring himself "a pretty nice guy ... despite what some people would say about me."
Angus Brian MacDonald of Glace Bay, N.S., who died Good Friday at the age of 67, wrote a first-person farewell that was published in the Cape Breton Post's obituaries section. As might be expected, the wry obit was picked up online, where commenters congratulated MacDonald for his approach.
This is how it starts: "So, the world doesn't have Angus MacDonald to kick around anymore. I'm gone! The devil finally called my name. The grim reaper came for me on Friday March 25,2016. I bought the farm. I bit the dust. So I guess I'm off to the promised land eh? The promised land! Imagine!"
The obituary is accompanied by a photo of a mustachioed man in a red shirt, a small smile on his face.
After noting he was one of 13 children and describing the whereabouts of various family members, MacDonald attempted to sum up his life.
"So anyway, I think I was a pretty nice guy, despite being a former punk and despite what some people would say about me. What did they know about me anyway? I loved my family and cared for them through good times and bad; I did my best. I had some serious health problems the last few years, but survived them (up till now anyway) with the help of my wife, Brenda; my granddaughter, Nicole; my sweetheart little dog, Scarlett, and my rescue kitten, Dolly."
MacDonald noted Scarlett died in 2013, and praised the dog as a "total destresser," adding: "So I guess if there's a place in the after-life where little dogs and old dawgs go, then that's where you'll find me and Scarlett. Maybe I'll see you all there sometime."
MacDonald made it clear he did not want a funeral.
"A funeral is a waste of harrrrrrd earned and harrrrrrd saved money that my family can use now. I was a very private person in life, so I don't want to end that life with people gawking at me while I lay in a coffin. I'm being cremated and my ashes are being scattered (somewhere). So instead of going to see the great creator, I will be going to see the great cremater."
Glace Bay's Patten Funeral Home confirmed that MacDonald's obituary was real, noting that his family was gathered in Patten's chapel Thursday afternoon for a memorial.
A Patten spokesperson said it was a family service, not a funeral.
The Canadian Press