Adele has made it clear to the world that her son, Angelo, is her greatest achievement. But in a recent interview with Vanity Fair, the singer revealed that she lost herself after becoming a mother due to postpartum depression.
“I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me,” she told the magazine for its December issue. “My knowledge of postpartum—or post-natal, as we call it in England—is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job. But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life.”
After the 28-year-old acknowledged that depression “can come in many different forms,” she figured out a way to cope: “Eventually I just said, I’m going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the fuck I want without my baby. A friend of mine said, ‘Really? Don’t you feel bad?’ I said, 'I do, but not as bad as I’d feel if I didn’t do it.'”
This isn’t the first time Adele has hinted at her postpartum struggles. In November 2015, the “Hello” singer told The Rolling Stone: “I was so all over the place after having a child, just because my chemicals were just hitting the fucking roof and shit like that. I was just drifting away.”
Adele had her son in 2012 with longtime boyfriend Simon Konecki. Now that her battle with postpartum depression is over, the singer says her life revolves around her little boy.
“You’re constantly trying to make up for stuff when you’re a mom,” she said. “I don’t mind, because of the love I feel for him… I don’t care if I don’t ever get to do anything for myself again.”
However, the singer admitted that she’s now “too scared” to have a second child after having such a bad experience with depression. She now calls Konecki’s daughter from a former marriage her “get-out-of-jail-free card.”
Adele’s comments about not wanting more kids come just weeks after she revealed to Nashville fans that she can’t wait to have a second child.
“My son is about to turn four very, very soon,” she said. “I’m starting to get very emotional about it because I feel like once they turn four, they’re not really your actual baby anymore. So my womb is starting to ache a little bit. It’s like, ‘Baby, baby, baby. Need a baby, need a baby.’”
So is another child in Adele's future? Only time will tell.
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