04/11/2017 02:44 EDT

'I Object': What To Do When Someone Objects At Your Wedding

You see it on TV and in the movies all the time: A heartbroken ex-lover crashes a couple's wedding, with the intention of objecting and putting an end to it all.

It's so dramatic and shocking you'd never believe something like that could happen in real life, but it does.

In a recent Ask Reddit thread, Redditors who say they witnessed a wedding objection shared what happened after the uncomfortable situation occurred. (Note: we cannot verify whether these stories are true, so take them with a grain of salt.)

wedding fight

"This happened at one of my friend's sibling's weddings. Her parents are suuuuper conservative and hadn't gotten the chance to know the daughter's fiancé very well before they got married," reimaginingme wrote. "The dad of the bride stands up and says 'her mother and I object,' and then after a long hesitation sits back down. Silence. No one can believe that that just happened. Not knowing exactly how to handle it, the preacher just says 'OK' and finishes the ceremony as planned."

Talk about awkward.

Fortunately, redditor Star_Tropic, who said he or she works in the wedding industry and has attended more than 300 weddings, wrote that objections are a very rare occurrence. "I have never seen nor heard of this happening at any event I have worked. Nor have I heard of other industry professionals that I'm in contact with experience it," they revealed.

But just because one person hasn't seen it happen doesn't mean it never happens. Redditor Southern_Kisses shared another objection story, with a much sweeter outcome. "My dad marrying his third wife. My step brother and I were in the wedding party. He was about 6, I was 10," she wrote. "The preacher asks if anyone objects and my brother raises his hand so very politely. My dad asks why, and my step brother replies, 'because I want you to promise to take me fishing whenever I want, first.'"

kids at wedding

Mock objections are also apparently a thing. Redditor suitology shared a story from his friend's brother's wedding. The couple, who were both lawyers, planted a friend in the audience to object, only to be overruled by the presiding judge. "It seemed to have gone over well for most but I don't think some of their family members got it," he wrote.

These days, most marriage ceremonies actually omit the drama-causing line altogether. "It has become obsolete," Paula Posman, a New York City-based officiant who runs the wedding services company A New York Way to Say I Do, told Live Science.

The phrase, which originally read, "If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace," has been phased out in large part because there are very few legitimate grounds to prevent a wedding. "You can't object simply because you're in love with the bride. It has to be a legal reason why the couple can't wed," Posman explained.


But since not everyone knows this, some uncomfortable moments can still arise. If it does happen at your own wedding or at the wedding of a loved one, Dr. Jane Greer, a New York-based marriage and sex therapist, tells, "Begin by calmly pausing the ceremony and taking the conversation off to the side or into a room that is more private."

Once you are alone with the objector, Greer recommends responding with appreciation but remaining firm in your commitment to your relationship. Say something like, "'We appreciate you sharing your concerns, however, we feel differently.' Then, negate their concerns and show a strong commitment to one another by returning to the altar and continuing with your ceremony," says Greer.

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