It's natural for your sex drive to dwindle when you become a parent — after all, life gets busy when you have a bunch of tiny tots running around! But according to one Australian mom, the secret to keeping the spark alive with your partner after having kids is "after play."
Mom-of-four Constance Hall interviewed sex doctor Nikki Goldstein after becoming curious about sex drives. Particularly, "why we lose interest and would prefer to have a cup of tea or eat toast then to have the man we love get us off," she wrote on Facebook.
What she discovered is that couples aren't making female orgasms a priority, which is why women often lack interest.
"I saw a sex therapist say, 'A women not cumming is like both of you getting dressed up for an amazing day out, you get on the train, it stops at the place... but only he gets out,'" Hall explained.
Dr. Goldstein then gave Hall the simple solution to this problem.
"Sex is often considered over when the man ejaculates his holy love syrup, rolls over and goes to sleep ... guess what??? It's not all about you.
"Nikki Goldstein told me that 'after play' is the answer," Hall wrote. "Sex is often considered over when the man ejaculates his holy love syrup, rolls over and goes to sleep.... 'up ya get boys... guess what???' It's not all about you... fingers, mouths and sex toys are the way of the future, I know it's hard to accept that the glorious penis rarely finishes the job."
While it is possible for women to have vaginal orgasms, statistics show that about 75 per cent of women have trouble reaching climax with penetration alone, ABC News reports. Additionally, whether or not vaginal orgasms are real has often been debated among sex experts, and previous research has declared it a myth.
That's why Goldstein's advice about finding other ways to make your partner reach climax is so important.
Hall concluded her Facebook post with a message to all that "life is foreplay," meaning showing your partner a little love outside the bedroom can go a long way.
"Remember that, blokes, help us, give us some non-sexual physical touch and above all, consider us," she wrote. "Because what you do out of the bedroom is going to impact what we do in it."
Hall's Facebook post really resonated with parents and has racked up over 45,000 likes in less than a week. But while her message about not being selfish in bed is a good one, one Facebook user made a very important point about keeping open communication, specifically noting, "Tell him what gets you hot and what makes you cum ... And, yes, this goes for the guys too."
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