For some, Thanksgiving is a time to get together with our families, enjoy a good meal, and feel thankful for our loved ones.
For others, Thanksgiving is a holiday we wish we could ignore because sometimes, we just don't want to hang out with our families.
Admit it: there are many of you who would rather stay at home and be alone if it meant you could skip a dinner trying not to slap that racist/sexist/homophobic relative who won't stop talking — with their mouth open and full of turkey, no less.
So, if you are thinking of skipping out on Thanksgiving dinner this year, we came up with a list of excuses we wish we could use to get out of seeing our family this weekend.
Use them at your own peril — we take no responsibility for any wrongdoing your mom might inflict upon you.
"I'm not feeling well."
Yes, this is basically the grown-up equivalent of "The dog ate my homework," but nonetheless, it can be very effective if you add in some coughs, groans, and sniffling. Just make sure your family doesn't catch you posting selfies of you trying on Fenty Beauty on Instagram.
"I just got a puppy."
Borrow your friend's/co-worker's/lover's/Bunz Pet Zone Facebook friend's puppy, post a pic of them on Instagram, and tell Mom and Dad that they would pee all over the carpet if you brought them over. Sure, they may actually pee all over your carpet, but it would be worth it to not have to listen to your aunt ask you why you're not married/don't have children.
"I hate my [sister/brother/aunt/uncle/dad/mom/grandma/grandad/in-law]."
Why not tell it like it is and state your (probably) obvious hatred of a certain relative who will be at dinner? The Thanksgiving host will most likely want to avoid a food fight over their (most likely maple glazed) dinner table.
"I got called into work."
Although it's far-fetched that the office will suddenly call you in just as you're about to chow down on pumpkin pie, if you do work in an environment where people work long hours and are often called in to do last-minute business, take advantage of this by letting your fam know you unfortunately have to heed your boss' call. They'll understand, we swear.
"I'm having dinner with friends."
This excuse is actually believable as we all have those lone friends who live in a different city than their family and need the company of their BFFs. And heck, why not make this excuse a reality? Enjoy Thanksgiving with your pals who are alone during the holiday. We can guarantee they won't piss you off by going on a tangent about "the problem with youth today."
"My kids are sick."
Kids get sick. A lot. And your family will totally get it if you tell them that your little ones have a nasty cold. So instead of having to endure a loud Thanksgiving you don't want to attend, have your own with your partner and the kids. There might be more clean-up to do but at least you've avoided having that yearly awkward conversation with the cousin you never see.
If that's the excuse you're going for, then you probably should volunteer. There are plenty of places that could use your services, from women's shelters, food banks, and homeless shelters. Just do a quick online search for local volunteering opportunities. Your parents can't really say anything bad about this excuse.
"I booked a vacation."
That's more like it. Tell the 'rents you're going to the Dominican then hunker down at home for a Netflix binge, or, if you can actually pull it off, book that vacation. You deserve it.
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