You can't fool us, Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir!
No one has that kind of chemistry on the ice, no one looks at each other the way they do, no one caresses each other so tenderly that we question if we've ever even known love ourselves — unless they are actually together.
And even though the ice dance champions have repeatedly insisted they're just friends (stop it, you two), their former long-time coach recently spilled the beans. Paul MacIntosh told The Canadian Press that Virtue and Moir actually were, in fact, romantically involved. They were public about it and everything.
Moir may have been nine years old and Virtue just seven at the time, but we'll take it.
"The whole world would like them to date. But they were 'dating' at age nine and seven, and I think Scotty broke it off. And he would say that's 19 or 20 years of regret," MacIntosh said.
He also recounted how the pair would tell each other they were dating, but were too shy to speak or even really look at each other.
Well, it seems they've gotten over that shyness. They even had to tone down their PyeongChang Olympics "Moulin Rouge" routine because it was too sexual for the judges.
And their routine was still pretty racy. Just ask the people of the internet, who felt a little hot and bothered after watching the pair perform in the team event Monday.
Honestly, Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir have more chemistry in any single moment of a 4-minute performance than exists in the ENTIRE "50 Shades" trilogy 🔥#VirtueMoirpic.twitter.com/kKjDnKfeMY
— Morgan (@miss_meaux) February 13, 2018
But, despite their childhood love affair, Virtue and Moir are currently just friends. When asked recently about the public's belief (and hope) that the duo is actually together or even married, Moir responded "Yeah. Maybe that means we're doing our job?"
"We're always telling stories, we're supposed to be reacting, a man and woman on the ice, it's romantic. What we have is such a cool relationship. It's more about a friendship, our working relationship is so strong. We take so much pride in that," Moir said in an interview in Maclean's.
"It comes with the territory and that's part of the storytelling we do on the ice. If that's the by-product of having a great longstanding partnership, then we can deal with it," Virtue added.
Even though skating's steamiest couple is not, in fact, a couple, Canada still has plenty of other Olympic skaters who are dating in real life.
Which should help hold us over until Virtue and Moir finally admit they've been secretly dating this entire time.
It could happen.