Here's an understatement: It was an emotionally draining week for survivors of sexual assault.
Christine Blasey Ford, a California psychology professor, testified for hours in front of U.S. senators, telling them that Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh sexually assaulted her decades ago.
In turn, Kavanaugh denied the allegation with anger, defiance and even flippancy.
The hearings have continued the post-MeToo stream of cultural examinations into why women don't report sexual assaults and how many men have been surprised by just how common such experiences are.
In what was surely a last-ditch effort to regain some shred of faith in humanity, some women on Twitter took the opportunity to reflect on empathetic and decent men who turned out to be #NotARapist.
Writer Maura Quint began:
And then he said "maybe isn't yes" and I went home that night, un-assaulted, because I hadn't talked to a rapist at that party.— maura quint (@behindyourback) September 29, 2018
It wasn't long before hundreds of people chimed in with positive experiences of their own.
Once in college, I was so drunk at a bar that I had to be escorted home, and it was by a man that I didn't know. He got me into bed, turned the lights down low, put on classical music, and then quietly left. I never got to thank him for being so kind and so human.— Sara Loughlin (@saraloughlinart) September 29, 2018
1st date w/ a guy: we had a daytime coffee meet-up & then I invited him to my house to play Mario Kart. We started kissing and I hesitated; he asked why, I said I was conflicted about moving too fast. He said, "then we'll stop." And we played more Mario.— Jen Strange (@jenstrange) September 29, 2018
Reader, I married him
Went to a 5 de Mayo party at a hotel bar. Too much tequila, danced on a piano, flirted with friends, got close to blackout drunk. The wild & crazy sales guys from work rented a room, put me to bed & watched over me til morning so I wouldn't wake up scared in a strange place.— Michele Lightfield (@why_two_wit) September 29, 2018
The only time I ever blacked-out was in college. Two very good male friends took me back to their place, played Ben Folds and WEST WING to cheer me up while I cried and barfed, and tucked me into bed under approximately 1,000 blankets— (((Galen))) (@GalenCrawley) September 29, 2018
I went on a first date, we hit it off big time, hot makeouts. I got a little too drunk, suggested more than makeouts, and he gently declined. He wanted me to be sober enough to consent fully. He drove me home, made sure I got in safely, and we have had many good times since. ❤— 💗💜💙 Bilectric Lady (@majorlady) September 29, 2018
"I've been assaulted. I've also been not assaulted," Quint wrote. "The difference didn't seem to be what I was wearing, how flirty I was, how much I was drinking. The only difference seemed to be whether or not the men felt it was OK or not to assault."
Several men contributed to the conversation, too.
I was working at a theatre really late one night, and as I was leaving town a girl just got into my car. She thought I was a taxi, but she was *incredibly* drunk. It was *way* out of my way, but I drove her home, make sure she made it in, and left. There are good guys out there.— Mike Andrews (@ma) September 29, 2018
My freshman year in college, myself and all the other males in the dorm created an "on call" list for the females in our dorm...we gave all of them our phone #s and every night 3 of us were "on call" for them if they needed us to get them or walk them home so as not to be alone— Josh Weisman (@polishingaturd) September 29, 2018
In uni, went out for drinks w/ friend. She drank too much, asked me to walk her home. She kept mumbling, "Don't have sex with me, please don't have sex with me."— Christopher Ruz (@ruzkin) September 29, 2018
At the time (young, innocent, stupid) I couldn't comprehend the past pain or trauma that would make someone feel like they had to warn platonic friends not to assault them.— Christopher Ruz (@ruzkin) September 29, 2018
The decade since then has taught me so much.
Story concludes with me tucking her into bed with a Powerade and a night light & me sleeping on the couch, but that shouldn't have to be a goddamn twist ending.— Christopher Ruz (@ruzkin) September 29, 2018
A female commenter thanked Christopher Ruz, telling him he "did very well." His response couldn't have been more accurate.
Thank you. I feel it's weird to be thanked for being a baseline decent human. We have so, so far to go.— Christopher Ruz (@ruzkin) September 29, 2018
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