There's an unspoken but sacred rule that you never buy someone else's kid one of the following toys: a harmonica, a recorder, or a drum.
Unless you happen to hate that kid's parents. In which case, by all means give their child the most obnoxious and loud playthings sure to ruin any hope of peace or quiet or a headache-free existence that parent might have been desperately clinging to. And make sure to wrap it in the most glittery gift bag you can find.
But now there's a new toy called "Yellies" to add to the list, and it has parents wondering what they ever did to deserve this.
Hmm, I hate parents. What shall I invent? pic.twitter.com/Yg5SsM4Krm— Molly Erdman (@erdmanmolly) January 8, 2019
Is there a kids you love, but you truly loathe their parents? Sure, we all do. I'm here today to tell you about YELLIES. THEY'RE FUZZY SPIDERS THAT YOU YELL AT. THE LOUDER YOU YELL THE F A S T E R THEY G O !!! !! ! pic.twitter.com/gBefkPJnNk— merryr✨ (@merveille) January 4, 2019
I'm pretty sure that the people who invented Yellies meant it either as a joke or as a way to torture parents, and I'm positive they don't have kids. pic.twitter.com/7l0MOSfMFp— ☀️ Luc (@8luciernaga) December 19, 2018
Yellies are voice-activated cuddly spiders from Hasbro, with the tagline "the louder you yell, the faster they go!" Each pet has its own unique look and personality, and apparently a ton of fun surprises.
Cool, cool. Because you know what parents love? The sound of their kids SCREAMING THEIR FACES OFF INSIDE THE HOUSE.
The TV commercial shows a group of kids screaming at the Yellies to make them go faster, because who wants slow Yellies? Not kids. Certainly not groups of them. All screaming. At the same time.
The spiders were on many top-trending toy lists in 2018, meaning there's a chance you might already have Yellies in your home as you read this hidden in a closet rocking back and forth.
Between this and the singing "Baby Shark" plush toys that came out (and sold out) right before Christmas, 2019 is shaping up to be the year parents finally snap.
@Hasbro, my grandkids LOVE the Yellies! Their parents, not so much.— Vilified Ostracized (@brakinggnus) December 28, 2018
Strength, parents. Strength.
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