As you probably know if you're a person who's alive and on the internet, "Game of Thrones" is back on Sunday night. The last season of the long-running HBO series about all the beheadings, zombies and incestuous relationships that one might encounter while trying to claim power in the fictional Middle Ages is finally here!
How do I watch "Game of Thrones" in Canada?
Through Bell's streaming service, Crave.
The new episode will be available starting at 9 p.m EST. So we can watch it just like our American friends do, with their fancy HBO subscriptions.
BUT because nothing is simple, you need more than a regular Crave account to access real-time GoT episodes. The basic $9.99/month package includes some HBO shows, but to get the newest episodes, you need the "Movies & HBO" add-on, which costs an extra $9.99/month.
It's been almost two years (!!) since the last season ended and I can barely remember what happened. What do I need to know?
For those of us who don't have time to re-watch all seven seasons — or the stomach for some of those rape scenes — here are the basics about where all our major characters are at this stage.
- Daenerys is finally in Westeros, where Tyrion and Jon Snow convince her to form a truce with Cersei to fight the White Walkers.
- Because Cersei doesn't believe ice zombies are a real threat, a big group — including Jon Snow, Ser Jorah, and Robert Baratheon's bastard son Gendry — head north to find one to bring back to her. But when things go awry and they find themselves outnumbered, Daenerys joins the fight. In bad news for everyone, their creepy leader, the Night King, kills one of her dragons and reincarnates it to fight on his side. The ZOMBIE DRAGON then opens up the Wall, allowing the White Walkers to head straight through to the rest of the realm. Cool.
- After resisting a truce with Daenerys for a long time, Cersei finally relents and agrees to send troops north to help — but later reveals to her lover/twin brother Jaime that she was faking. In fact, her now-fiancé Euron Greyjoy is headed to pick up mercenaries known as The Golden Company to fight Daenerys' army.
- Not into this betrayal, Jamie abandons her to join the fight up north.
- Oh yeah, despite being engaged to someone else, Cersei is probably pregnant with her brother's baby once again.
- Bran Stark has undergone a mysterious transformation, and can now sometimes move through time and space as the Three-Eyed Raven. We don't completely understand how this works or what it means, but he seems strangely unmoved when he's finally reunited with his sisters Sansa and Arya.
- Jon Snow and Daenerys finally hook up, right as his buddy Sam discovers Jon's true parentage. Confirming a long-held fan theory, we know his mother was Lyanna Stark, Ned's sister, and his father was Rhaegar Targaryen, the mad king's son — and Daenerys' brother. So, yep, we see them bone just as Sam discovers they're in fact aunt and nephew.
And here's what's up with some of the background players, who are all pretty much in mortal danger:
- Littlefinger attempted to play the Stark sisters against each other, but was outsmarted by Sansa and Arya. They slit his throat.
- Yara Greyjoy was caught by Euron, the very unpleasant uncle she was plotting against, and abandoned by her extremely ill-fated brother Theon. (Although it looks like he may try to rescue her.)
- Ellaria Sand, who had to watch her lover Oberyn Martell die via eye-popping, had to watch Cersei kill her daughter.
- Tormund Giantsbane, Jon Snow's former sidekick and Brienne of Tarth's possible paramour, was at the section of the Wall attacked by the dragon. We didn't see him die, but he's probably not doing all that well.
More from HuffPost Canada:
How different is this from what happened in the books?
When the show started, each season matched up reasonably closely with a book in the series. But the fifth book in the series, "A Dance with Dragons," came out in 2011, and to the dismay of many fans, author George R.R. Martin has yet to announce a release date for the next one.
By season 6, many of the the plot points had reached the end of their source material. In the books, Daenerys hasn't yet met Tyrion or Jon Snow; Sansa, Arya and Bran haven't been reunited, and there is definitely no zombie dragon.
Who has the best commentary?
For a straightforward recap, we're partial to the New York Times and Vulture.
If you're looking to be entertained more than informed, we highly recommend watching Leslie Jones of "Saturday Night Live" watch or live-tweet the show. And "Queer Eye" star Jonathan Van Ness recently announced that he's bringing back his commentary show, "Gay of Thrones," for the final season.
Who's going to die and who's going to win?
Obviously, the only people who know have signed ironclad NDAs on pain of death. Of course, there are lots of theories. According to the betting site Oddshark, Bran Stark is the most highly favoured to win, followed by Jon Snow, Sansa Stark, and Daenerys Targaryen. Remember, though, this is a show that delights in killing off beloved characters.
In terms of likely deaths, Euron and Yara Greyjoy top The A.V. Club's dead pool, while Vox warns that Yara and Tormund are in the most danger for this first episode.
Meanwhile, a German algorithm says that wise-cracking mercenary Bronn is most likely to die next.
Be safe out there!
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