The other day I was wandering around downtown Vancouver with my husband and baby. A little bit up the street from us I saw a woman who was visibly upset and shouting at her boyfriend or husband. He was attempting to comfort her, but he wasn't having much luck. She was absolutely livid and kept gesturing to his pocket. The more heated their argument grew, the more nervous I became to cross their path with my baby (being the super cautious momma bear I am), so we kind of just slowed down and decided to let them have their moment.
Then came the line we've all exclaimed to our significant other at one point or another: "Show me your phone!"
The woman screamed at him with all of her fury and might. He nervously laughed but didn't dare pull out his phone... and then it hit me. The realization that technology has truly changed the dynamic of relationships in any tech-friendly area of the world these days. Gone are the days of monogamy and trust. It's just all too easy to cyber cheat, or to have computer, phone and tablet screens hide the dirty work of actual cheat cheating. So you just got to wonder -- where do you draw the line?
What's considered cheating to you? Is it one too many likes on another girl's picture? Or maybe it's secret deleted convos from last weekend's drunken hookups. Texting and emails have made having a little somthin' somthin' on the side all too casual. Not to mention the major trust issues all these gizmos and gadgets can cause.
I can't count the amount of times I have misinterpreted something I saw in my husband's phone causing me to transform into Inspector Gadget, spending an incessant amount of time going through every single aspect of his online life.
It's a sad time for love. If that's what you even want to call it. Where did that "old-school love" go? The kind where if you're with someone you're really with someone. You're not in so called "open relationships." Where the lines of commitment are blurred and overstepped one too many times.
There doesn't even seem to be the notion of honouring one's relationship status anymore -- and I'm not talking about whatever one you so proudly display on Facebook. People seldom fear going after someone's significant other because being secretive is just all too easy with all of this technology to hide behind.
We're all losing our moral consciences and subsequently relationships are losing intimacy, respect and trust. I do wonder when the turning point will come.
I am lucky enough to be in a fully committed relationship in which I have little to worry about. But the fact remains that marriages are having more and more riding against them. It's no wonder relationships are falling a part left, right and centre. The world being your virtual oyster isn't always a good thing.
We are receiving the false impression that there's always so much better out there for us. The temptation is all too real and it's following us like a plague every waking moment. What do you see all over your social media feeds? Men and women alike portraying their very best sexualized versions of themselves to attract the opposite sex or make their significant others jealous.
Maybe this is a huge generalization. But I tell ya -- it's not far from the truth. We've all got to be careful of what image we are putting out the world because that's the one being thrown right back at us. And the mentality of fun and carefree living is not helping us much in the long run, that's for sure.
Then there's the question of just how far is too far when it comes being secretive of our phones. Well, yes, it's blatantly obvious that if the reason you protect your phone as if it's your handheld pacemaker is because you're afraid of being caught being unfaithful is wrong. This is clear cut infidelity.
But what about pornography? What about all those borderline nude photo accounts you follow? How about the girl or guy that you are "just friends with" and casually text here and there? If you wouldn't do it in the flesh in front of your partner -- then what makes it OK in the world of pixels and code?
Not to mention the fact that quality time with one another has now turned into being focused on our phones the entire time. I find myself guilty of this as well. At times I can become so occupied with updating my various social media outlets or writing random tidbits into my phone for future post ideas that I don't realize I am completely ignoring my husband. And, of course, he is at times so consumed with his own phones that he's doing it right back, and neither of us realize it. Maybe it's time to draw back and unplug for a while in order to reconnect to one another once again.
So the next time he or she demands to see your phone, just hand it on over - and if she discovers something which sparks a fight, well, maybe you two need to question if you're actually better off single and doing whatever you're doing out in the open. It would be a lot better of a feeling than being in constant lockdown, secret mode with your partner.
What are your thoughts about this topic? Feel free to leave a comment below!
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